Moving Forward
by bassetfan
Summary: Follows on from Picking up the Pieces, final part. While trying to recover from the events of the past months, Lucas finds unexpected help from old friends.
1. Chapter 1

_Some warnings about this story - references to a non consensual m/m act (nothing graphic, mainly the emotional fallout). If you want to skip that part, it will be chapters 1 & 3\. Also, some strong language._

 _Okay, here it is, the final part! Many, many heartfelt thanks to all those who have taken the time to review, follow and favourite. It makes me ridiculously happy to know that people like it! Also, many thanks to all those who have been reading the story, I hope you find it a satisfying conclusion._

 _Finally, R.I.P. Jonathan Brandis. I wish his story could have had a better ending._

* * *

Oliver Hudson was reading at the desk in his quarters, when he heard a knock at the door. He was surprised to see Tony Piccolo standing there, although they had developed a friendship of sorts. It was no secret that the Captain saw something of himself in the young man, and was trying to be a mentor to him.

"Mr. Piccolo, come in."

He walked in with a little less confidence than usual. "You don't mind me stopping by?"

"Not at all. Something on your mind?"

Yes, Tony thought, something was very much on his mind. Trust the Captain to go straight to the point, instead of letting him work around to it.

Reluctant to just blurt it out, he hedged, "Yeah, I guess."

Hudson nodded, and motioned for him to sit.

"Drink?"

"Thanks."

There was a pause, broken by Hudson.

"Did you have a good shore leave?" And then, after a moment, "Any problems?"

"No, it was great. It was good to see my folks again. They liked Dagwood and Lucas."

But it was something about Wolenczak, Hudson could deduce that just from the slight hesitation before Tony said his name.

"How is Mr. Wolenczak?"

"He's fine. Picked up a bit of a bug, we had a couple of scary moments, but he seems okay now. Doc's checking him out now."

Hudson didn't fill the silence, and waited.

"Kid musta had a weird childhood," Tony mused, sipping his drink. "Do you know he's never played a board game? Never played Monopoly. What kid has never played Monopoly? Never built a snowman either. Weird."

Hudson raised an eyebrow, but remained silent. They were getting closer, but whatever Piccolo wanted to talk about, that wasn't it.

Tony took another drink.

"Can I tell you something?"

Hudson nodded, but remained silent.

"Nick...my Dad...he said some stuff to Lucas. Stuff that wasn't very nice. And then he told him that we needed money. My Aunt Angie, she woulda had to sell the house. He said some really crappy things, but Lucas...well, he gave him the money. Fifty grand."

He looked up at Hudson. "Did you know he was broke?"

Hudson's reaction mirrored his own. Tony felt better seeing it. He'd wondered if he would have known if they had been around for the last ten years, but apparently not. This was news to Captain Hudson.

"Apparently, his father invested everything in Wolenczak Industries, which went bust."

"But Wolenczak invented things on his own."

"Yeah, when he was a minor. They just invested all his money in their business. The only money he had was his pay, and his mother took that when she had him declared legally dead."

"He had $50,000."

"Yeah..."

Hudson knew that despite all the revelations of the previous conversation, they were only now coming to what was bothering Piccolo.

"I asked him about that." He took a drink, looking even more uncomfortable. Hudson watched him closely.

"He told me he got $60,000 for wrongful imprisonment from the UEO. You know, from when we got back?"

Now Hudson did look interested. "Go on."

"Well, far as I know, he was only there for one night. Seems to me that's an awful lot of compensation for one night's imprisonment, even if he was a civilian at the time. So I kinda wondered, what isn't he telling me?"

"I think that's a very good question. Did you ask him?"

"No. I got the feeling he hadn't meant to tell me, he clammed up right after, changed the subject. Anytime I try to bring it up, he says he doesn't want to talk about it. And..."

"And?"

"And his hands were shaking when he was talking about it."

They fell silent.

Hudson had never asked about that time. Odd, really, but with so much going on he'd never even thought about it again.

Lucas had escaped, and then joined the UEO. Although, wasn't it strange that the UEO never held any kind of enquiry or hearing about that? Escaping from a UEO prison and stealing a sub? It was never mentioned again. And Piccolo was right, $60,000 was a hell of a lot of money for just one night. Hudson checked the time, and then stood up and walked over to the Vidlink.

Within minutes, Secretary General McGath appeared.

"Captain Hudson?"

"Yes Sir. Sorry to disturb you at this hour. I was wondering about something, and thought you could clear it up for me."

"What is it?"

"Could you tell me why Lucas Wolenczak received $60,000 compensation from the UEO?"

McGath froze.

"That's confidential, how did you hear about that? What did he tell you?"

Hudson assumed a look of innocence.

"He didn't tell me anything. I found out from another source. Care to tell me why I didn't hear anything about this from you?"

"As I said, it's confidential."

"Well it's not anymore, and I'm his captain. I have a right to know anything that might affect my crew."

McGath sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"This goes no further."

Hudson didn't even glance to check that Tony was still out of sight of the Vidlink.

"There was an incident."

"An 'incident'?"

"As you know, Wolenczak obviously wasn't a threat. He had no weapon and collapsed at my feet, for heaven's sake. But we needed to keep him where we could question him, so he was arrested."

"Unfortunately, there was a miscommunication. He was placed into the general prison population." There was a long pause, which Hudson didn't break. "There was an altercation in his cell."

"Could you please tell me what happened?" Hudson was becoming impatient.

"Two of the inmates started fighting over him. One of them drew a knife and slit the throat of the other while they had him pinned between them, spraying him with blood. Then, at knife point, the inmate threatened him and started...making advances."

Hudson closed his eyes for a minute.

"How far did it go?"

"That was it! A guard was walking past and heard the commotion, and they subdued the inmate before anything more happened." He cleared his throat. "But he was soaked in blood and in shock when they pulled him away. That's how he managed to escape, he spent the night in the medical ward. There was a social worker there at the time, checking on conditions, and she threatened to take this further unless some kind of reparation was made immediately. We're just lucky that the story didn't get out, this could have been very bad for us."

Hudson looked at him with distaste. "I imagine it was bad enough, at least for him. Will you send me the files?"

McGath nodded. Hudson turned off the screen and sat down. They finished their drinks in silence, and he got up and poured them another.

Tony sank his head to his knees and ran his hands through his hair. "God! Just when I think his luck is rock bottom, it manages to get worse."

"I'm sorry, I had no idea."

"Well, I guess we know why he escaped. And why he never told anyone."

"And if I know Mr. Wolenczak, he probably planned to never mention it."

"He was different this tour."

"Was he?"

"Yeah, kind of snarky and withdrawn."

"He's not usually like that?"

"Na. Don't get me wrong, he was always a smart ass, but he used to be nicer. He's made some really snotty comments to all of us in the past few months. We just thought he had a bug up his ass about being an officer now. But now..."

"You think it was because of this?"

"Yeah. I do." He looked at the Captain. "So now what do we do?"


	2. Chapter 2

At that moment, Lucas Wolenczak was being given a thorough check up by Doctor Perry.

"Well...you did catch the flu, and you still have a bit of a temperature and a slight fever; but you're doing pretty well, considering. How do you feel?"

"Okay."

"Could we try for a few more adjectives?"

He sighed. "My throat's a little scratchy and I have a bit of a cough, but nothing bad."

"See, now was that hard?"

He smiled. "Yes."

"Sam told me he'd put you on a stronger anti-depressant."

"Sam?"

She blushed. "Doctor Jacobson. We had a few chats over the Vidlink. He seems like a very nice man."

Lucas grinned. "Yeah, he is. So, are you and he..." He let the sentence trail off.

"We may get together for dinner the next time we're in harbor."

"That's great!"

"Don't think I haven't noticed that you've changed the subject. He said you had a couple of panic attacks?"

He sobered, and looked away from her. "Do we have to discuss this now?"

"When would you like to discuss it?"

He mumbled in response. "Never."

"Lucas..."

"Look, I just had a couple of bad moments, okay? It hasn't happened since he changed my medication."

"It's only been a few days."

He didn't answer.

"Okay, we don't have to talk about this now. But have you really been feeling better since he switched you over to the new medication?"

"Yes!" He was eager to change the subject. "Really, I haven't had any more of...those, I haven't even thought about..."

He stopped abruptly, horrified by what he had been about to say.

They both knew what he would have said next, but she decided not to pursue it. He had been interrogated enough for one day, and she didn't need him to view her as the enemy.

"Okay, good, I'm glad. Promise me you'll let me know if that changes?"

He nodded, and looked unable to believe his luck as she changed the subject.

"Now, did you have time to research the new painkiller I was telling you about?"

He swallowed. "I've decided I don't want to try it."

She was shocked. "Are you sure? It would give greater pain relief and reduce your nausea. When we start on the treatments for your back and legs, it's going to be a painful process. These drugs might make it more bearable. Why did you change your mind?"

"You told me it was my decision."

"Yes, but..."

"I just don't want to, alright?"

"But Lucas..."

"And I don't want anyone else to know. This is no-one else's business."

* * *

Both he and Tony were thoughtful when they returned to their room that afternoon. Dagwood had brought Lucas' bag back for him, since Perry had asked that Lucas go straight to the med-bay. Tony had simply thrown his on his bunk before going to see Hudson. Lucas was unpacking when he walked in.

"Hi." Lucas saw Tony's face. "Something wrong?"

Tony frowned. "Na, just thinkin', that's all."

"Missing your family?"

That was as good an excuse as any for his mood. He nodded. "Yeah, I guess."

"Me too, they're nice people."

Tony smiled at Lucas' attempt to lift him from his mood. "They liked you."

"Well, they obviously have great taste!"

Tony laughed, and threw a pillow at him.

"Thanks, I can always use an extra pillow!"

"Gimme that back! Hey, where's Dagwood?"

"He went to get dinner."

"That's not a bad idea, getting kinda hungry myself. Come on, let's go."

Lucas frowned. "You go ahead, I'm not really that hungry."

"Wrong answer, Luke buddy, you have to eat whether you want to or not. Come on, we're going. 'Sides, don't you want to see everybody?"

As much as they had enjoyed their shore leave, it was good to see everybody again. They exchanged vacation stories, and Tony couldn't help but be impressed by Lucas' ability to be part of the group and yet say so little.

When asked about his holiday, he said that it had been great, they saw a football match, and Tony's Aunt Angie could cook like you wouldn't believe. He painted such a positive picture that Tony wondered if he'd been somewhere else. While they'd had plenty of good times, Tony could only think about how Lucas had been insulted, suffered panic attacks, sickness, fever and become poorer by $50,000.

None of that, of course, was mentioned by Lucas, and nothing was mentioned about his health (although he had been asked) until he began to cough.

"Yeah, did you forget about that part of the trip?" Tony asked.

Everyone looked at him in concern, and Lucas scowled.

Tim looked troubled. "Did you get sick?"

"I'm fine," he rasped, sounding very much the opposite. "My throat's a little dry, that's all."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "He caught the flu. Doc Perry wants him to take it easy for a few days."

Lucas looked annoyed. "Tony! I can speak for myself, you know."

"Yeah, and I can guarantee you're not going to tell 'em that. You know Perry will, there's no point in making it a secret."

"I guess my life is just everybody else's business now, is that it?" Angrily, he wheeled himself out of the room.

Tony groaned. "Guess I coulda handled that better."

Jonathon spoke for everyone when he asked, "How was he while he was with you?"

Dagwood looked up from his plate. "He got real sick! We had to call Doc Jacobson and put Lucas in a bathtub!"

Lonnie was confused. "A bathtub?"

Tony gave Dagwood an exasperated look. "Way to go, Big Guy. If Luke didn't like me telling them he had the flu, how do you think he's gonna like you sharing this nugget?"

Seeing their looks, he sighed.

"He got really sick, and his fever was rising too high. We called the Doc, and he had us put Lucas in a cool tub until his fever came down. Now I think about it, he probably doesn't even know about that. He was totally out of it. It was freakin' scary."

Lonnie asked, "Is he okay now?"

"He's been up and down for days now. He'll be great one day, and sick the next. Just can't seem to shake it."

Jonathon looked serious. "Perry did say that his immune system was shot and he can't fight infections easily."

Tony took a last drink of his soda, and stood up. "I should go after him, check he's okay."

Seeing Dagwood about to stand, he added, "No, you're okay Dag. Finish your food."

Tim stood as well. "I'll come with you...moonpool?"

"That would be my guess. C'mon."

* * *

Lucas was with Darwin.

He found it hard to pet the dolphin while he was in his chair, but at least they could talk. He wondered why it was that he ran to a dolphin when he needed to talk.

"Lucas sad?"

"No, I'm fine."

He sat quietly, watching his friend.

"I wish I could swim with you."

"Lucas swim soon?"

"No." His voice was sad.

He heard a voice behind him. "Y'know, Perry said some kind of water exercise might be just what you need. I'm sure Darwin would love to help."

"Darwin help Lucas!"

"I'd like that. You think I could?"

Tim spoke up. "I read that exercises in water can be good for improving muscles. You'll probably have to do some more therapy first, to prepare you. Have you been keeping up with the exercises over the break?"

Lucas bit his lip, and looked guilty. "We did some." And then, defeated, "I got sick. I spent most of the holiday ruining Tony's Christmas and sleeping."

"You didn't ruin Christmas for anyone, you couldn't help getting sick. I shouldn't have taken you to the football match or the mall. That's probably why you got sick."

Lucas looked surprised. "No, I loved the football match. And I enjoyed shopping with Gina."

Tim looked questioningly.

"My cousin. Spent the whole day teaching Luke knock knock jokes and lightbulb jokes."

Tim looked serious. "I was worried over the holiday that I may have given you the flu. I was sick for a few days when I got home. Then I find out you were sick, you probably caught it from me! I'm sorry, Lucas."

Tony sat next to Tim on the side of the moonpool.

"Just so we're clear. Tim feels guilty for giving you the flu, I feel guilty for taking you out and getting you sick, and you feel guilty for bein' sick, have I covered all our bases?"

They nodded.

"Good, 'cause I'm tired of this conversation. Luke, if you apologize again, I will throw you in the pool. Tim, you and I couldn't help it if we made him sick, we didn't mean to. And Luke..."

"Don't call me Luke..."

"Ya didn't ruin everyone's Christmas. Ya didn't ruin ANYONE's Christmas, understand? Dagwood built a snowman and ate his weight in food each day, I got to spend time with my family, my Aunt Rose and Cousin Gina just love you and can't wait for you to come back, and because of you, there will be a house to come back to - could they have a better Christmas than that?"

Tim looked curious, but Lucas just shook his head and smiled.

"Okay." And then with a grin, "I'm sorry!"

Tim looked at Tony. "Are you going to throw him in?"

"Na, I didn't say I'd do it now. I'll wait 'til he's not expecting it, it'll be funnier! So, what did Perry say?"

"Just what she already told you. Rest for a few days, although I can use my computer." He grinned. "Oh, and she's going to dinner with 'Sam' Jacobson when we next get into port."

"Sam? Sam Jacobson? Wow. Isn't he like a hundred?"


	3. Chapter 3

The next few days passed much like the last few days at Angie's.

His fever rose and fell, although it never reached seriously high levels, and though his overall health continued to improve, his cough worsened to bronchitis. It got so bad that he actually asked Doctor Perry if he could sleep in the med-bay until he could get through the night without coughing.

Tony wasn't happy about that, knowing that it probably stemmed from his father's accusation about Lucas keeping them awake. He couldn't deny to himself that he appreciated it, Lucas had been really bad for a while, but their quarters just didn't feel the same without him. Oddly, both he and Dagwood seemed to find it harder to sleep without him there. After a week, Lucas returned to their rooms with his cough lessened, if not completely gone, and feeling considerably better.

Doctor Perry decided that spending all day on his own with nothing to do was not good for his mental state. Realizing his need to be a contributing member of the crew, she put Lucas back on light duty. He was ordered to take frequent breaks and to leave the bridge whenever he became overtired. Neither she or anyone else believed that he would do that, but she figured that there were enough people there to watch out for him.

He was welcomed back enthusiastically. He had been helping crewmembers with their computer problems whenever he could, but despite that, a huge number of problems seemed to have arisen in his absence. He was equally excited to get back to work, and, as they had expected, had to be reminded to take breaks and ordered off the bridge at the end of his shift.

Things started to feel normal again. He was happier working again, and the SeaQuest definitely ran better with him there. Even Captain Hudson was pleased with the ship's efficiency.

However, there was still the matter of the prison incident to discuss. The captain and Tony had discussed it with Doctor Perry. None of them liked that Lucas had never talked about it with anyone, but they wanted him to recover from his flu and bronchitis before they confronted him about it.

With the improvement in his health and his return to light duties, it seemed a good time to confront him.

* * *

Captain Hudson asked him to stop by his quarters after his shift, and when he arrived he found Tony and Doctor Perry there. He was instantly on the alert.

He paused in the doorway, sensing a trap.

"Come in," Hudson ordered.

He moved into the room, looking wary.

"Would you like some tea?"

Lucas shook his head, thinking how unlikely it seemed that Hudson would drink tea.

"We wanted to discuss something with you." Hudson paused, uncomfortable. He didn't like this sort of thing. He hated emotional exchanges, and this was likely to be extremely uncomfortable. But he had to do this, it was his responsibility and partly his fault.

Being careful not to look at Tony, Hudson began, "I recently found out the details of your imprisonment with the UEO." Panic stricken eyes turned towards Tony and Doctor Perry.

"Yes, they know."

For a moment, Lucas went completely white. He closed his eyes and they saw his nails dig into the arms of his chair. He took a deep breath, and then surprised them all by speaking first.

"I have an idea about how to upgrade the communication system."

Whatever Hudson had been expecting him to say, it wasn't that. Perry and Tony were a little more used to his ability to change the subject when he was uncomfortable, but Hudson was intrigued.

"Go on." The others looked at Hudson, surprised.

Lucas looked relieved. "With the changes in technology, I can make the PALs smaller. I was thinking that we could make them wearable, like watches. I've been working on plans for a prototype, I just need to make some changes to the existing communications system."

Hudson nodded. "Will there be much disruption?"

"It should be minimal."

"Alright. When do you want to try it?" Tony and Perry looked on in disbelief.

"With your permission, I can start working on it tomorrow."

"Good, permission granted. It will help take your mind off what we're about to discuss."

Lucas looked horrified.

"Please tell me you don't think I can be distracted that easily. This is something we need to talk about."

Lucas' voice was a whisper. "Why?"

"Because just the idea of talking about it upsets you."

"No!"

Hudson sat down. "You're trembling, your voice is unsteady and you're white as a sheet."

Doctor Perry took over. "Lucas, have you talked to anyone about what happened?"

He shook his head, and his breath started to come in panicked gasps. Tony, who had seen this before, grabbed his chin and made him look him in the eye.

"Hey, c'mon, calm down, it's okay. You can do this." He spoke as though he was gentling a horse, Hudson thought.

Tony looked at Perry, who was waiting to help. "Could he get some water?"

As Perry moved to fill a glass, Tony spoke to him in quiet tones. "Lucas, you need to talk about this."

His ragged breathing turned into coughing, and he was gasping for breath once again. Tony handed him the water and he took a sip, although his hands shook so badly it was a miracle it reached his lips.

"Better?" asked the doctor.

He didn't nod or answer. Of course he wasn't better, this was the worse thing that could happen. It was bad enough that it had happened, but when no-one else knew he could pretend that it hadn't.

But now they knew, and he didn't think he could bear them looking at him.

Perry tried again. "Lucas?"

"Please...no," he murmured to the floor.

Tony tried. "Lucas, please, you gotta talk about this."

"Don't make me do this," he looked his friend in the eye, "please don't make me do this..."

He couldn't stop shaking. He looked up, and everyone was staring at him in sympathy, even Hudson looked sorry, the emotion looking foreign on his face.

Doctor Perry tried again. "I'm so sorry, Lucas, we don't want you to be hurt, but you can't bottle this up. It will eat away at you like poison."

He thought of how apt her analogy was. It was eating him like poison, but it was deep within him, it couldn't be drawn out now.

"I can't..." He tried another way. "Captain Hudson, you can't make me do this!"

"No Ensign, I can't. But if I think that something is affecting the well-being of one of my crew, then I will act accordingly."

His matter of fact tone steadied Lucas. Instead of panic, Lucas started to feel angry.

"You think that if I talk about it now it will all go away and everything will be better in the morning? It won't! They had no right to arrest me, you had no reason to leave me there!" He was shouting now, he couldn't stop himself. "You were there, you could have done something, you left me there. Just me, no one else got arrested, it was only me that got put in that...place. WHY?"

Hudson swallowed. He'd asked himself that question.

"I don't know. You weren't meant to be held with the rest of the prisoners. We needed information and we thought you had it. You were the first to come back. Then everyone else appeared, and the seaQuest was found, and we just...forgot about you."

Lucas hadn't expected him to answer, let alone answer so honestly. Tears started to run down his cheeks, and he wiped them away angrily.

"I requested your release about the time you were escaping. No-one told me any of the details, I only found out recently. I'm sorry. I wish I had known before."

"Why? What difference would that have made?"

"It would have stopped me from forcing you to join the UEO. If I'd known, I wouldn't have accepted your enlistment. I would have given you more time to work things out."

Lucas looked down at his chair. "I wanted to be on the seaQuest. I have to be on the seaQuest. It's my home."

There was silence for a moment.

"Why did you sign up, after what happened?"

"You said I couldn't be here if I was a civilian. I had to."

"But after that...!"

"There wasn't anywhere else I could go...my parents weren't around anymore and the captain..." His voice hitched in his throat. He swallowed a sob, and tried again. "The captain didn't want me anymore, he didn't even tell me he was leaving."

After so long saying nothing, he suddenly couldn't stop the words from rushing out.

"I thought, if I could find the captain, he would see something was wrong and I could talk to him...tell him...but he didn't even seem to see me, he just talked about Michael. I wanted to tell him, I wanted to say something but...he left. There was no-one else I could tell."

Tony took his shaking hands. "You coulda told me, I'd have listened."

"We never really talked about serious stuff. I thought you might have laughed."

Tony gaped at him. "You didn't really believe that I would laugh? That ANYONE would laugh about this?"

Lucas shrugged.

Doctor Perry asked, "There was no-one else you could tell? What about Tim? Or Lonnie?"

"Tim doesn't like the emotional stuff. It's why we get on so well, he leaves me alone. And I couldn't tell Lonnie about...that."

She was starting to see what he wasn't saying. "Lucas, this wasn't your fault. You know that, right? This wasn't something you could have prevented, or that you should be ashamed of."

He looked down again, and they saw a flush in his cheeks. He was ashamed. He hadn't done anything to stop it, and he was ashamed of his helplessness.

"I should have fought harder."

In a firm voice, Hudson spoke. "Soldier!"

Lucas looked up, startled.

"This could have happened to anyone. It could have been Mr. Piccolo or Commander Ford just as easily."

Seeing the disbelieving look in Lucas' eyes, he continued, "I saw pictures of the men involved. They were large men and skilled fighters. Anyone would have difficulty fighting them. The shame in this instance belongs to the UEO, to Secretary General McGath and to myself, for creating that situation. For my part, I'm sorry."

Lucas' moods were flying everywhere, and suddenly he was filled with anger again.

"You're sorry? You're SORRY? Is that meant to make everything better? Maybe we should grab a guitar and sing a few verses of Kumbaya, 'cause everything is better now that we've talked and you're FUCKING SORRY!"

He was shouting, he was so angry. He had been angry for so long now, but he had kept it inside and now it was all coming out. He was furious, he was shaking with it, he couldn't stop.

"I didn't even know what year it was! I passed out at McGath's feet, and when I come to I find out I've been arrested and I don't even know what for! Then I'm being interrogated about stuff I have no memory of, and the next thing I know I'm being grabbed, and then...and then..."

"Do you have any idea what it felt like? I got blood all over me, I feel so fucking dirty! Blood was in my mouth and I can still taste it! I don't think I can ever wash it off! I can't wash HIM off! His hands were all over me and I can't ever forget that feeling, I feel it all the time! I try to not think about it, but I can't. I feel so sordid and worthless, and nothing I can do can change that!"


	4. Chapter 4

They sat in shocked horror.

Hudson waited a moment, until he was sure the boy had finished. He looked around the room. Perry looked anguished but determined, Tony looked stricken and helpless, Lucas looked...lost. Hudson may hate this emotional crap, but even though all of this could not be laid at his door, enough of it was his fault, and they were his crew.

Hudson thought of the train of events that had led them to this moment. The UEO - and Hudson himself - bore a big part of the responsibility for what had happened.

If he hadn't been so desperate for information about the seaQuest, McGath would not have arrested Lucas. If he'd said something when he saw the boy in jail, then McGath would have released him. If he'd asked why the UEO was so quick to forgive a prison breakout and the theft of a sub, then he would have found out about this a lot sooner. If he hadn't been so determined not to have civilians on his boat, he wouldn't have forced Lucas into signing up. And if he had the boy's best interests at heart, he would never have accepted Lucas as a soldier. He wanted Lucas using his talents for the greater good of the UEO, and he wanted Lucas working under him, for the efficiency of his boat.

But he wasn't entirely to blame either. There was an emotional component here for which he was not responsible.

If Nathan Bridger hadn't developed a bond with him, then Lucas wouldn't have become so single minded about remaining on the boat. He would have pursued other avenues, and when the time was right, he would have left. If they hadn't lost ten years on Hyperion, Lucas might have reconciled with his father, and perhaps joined him in his work. If Nathan Bridger had not been so obsessed with the idea of finding his son and raising his grandson, he, more than anyone, might have noticed something wrong and questioned Lucas about it. If he had spoken to Lucas, and explained about leaving instead of surprising him in front of everyone, there may have still been a chance for Lucas to talk to him. And if he had done what he promised and kept in touch with Lucas, they could have reconciled their differences and Lucas would still have that outlet.

He hadn't witnessed the relationship between Bridger and Wolenczak, but he had, sickeningly, heard it discussed repeatedly. Their closeness, their affection, their 'touching father/son bond', Hudson was sick of hearing about it. So when Bridger had turned up unexpectedly to help solve the problem with the contaminant in the ocean, he had been surprised, and not altogether unhappy to find the two at loggerheads. He had supported Wolenczak over the 'sainted' Bridger, and the two seemed to reach an understanding. He had assumed, apparently erroneously, that their old relationship had a hiccup but was once again restored. Then, when Bridger had returned, working this time for Section Seven, there was still more hostility, but again, they had seemed to part on good terms.

But now, everything he was hearing seemed to indicate that the relationship had been abandoned by Bridger for his grandson and son. He had certainly never replied to Hudson's call when Lucas was injured, and though he assumed they had spoken since, it was just that, an assumption. Whatever had happened, it was clear that the relationship was no longer strong enough for Lucas to reach out to Bridger when he was in trouble.

"You aren't worthless. You saved my life. Just as you saved the life of all the people on the train that day. Like you've saved countless lives during your time on the seaQuest, and I'm sure that you will be instrumental in saving many more. We moved heaven and earth to get you back and keep you here. I can assure you that no-one on this boat considers you to be worthless."

Tony squeezed his friends hand. "He's right. Luke, you gotta tell someone when you're having problems. You've got friends who care about you, we all want to help. I want to help, so does Dagwood. Tim would be happy to listen, you're wrong about him, he doesn't mind the emotional stuff. We talked a lot while you were sick. He wants to be there for you. Lonnie would talk stuff over with you all day, and she's a real good listener. Heck, even Jon would listen to you."

Doctor Perry spoke again. "I'd like to recommend counseling, but I don't think you'd like it and I don't think you'd do it. I could waive that, on one condition."

"What condition?" His voice was very small.

"I will waive counseling if you talk to us - your friends - and let us try to help you." Seeing his look, she continued. "We all want to help you and keep you safe. No-one will judge you, no-one will think anything less of you. Just...trust us for once, can you do that?"

He nodded slowly. She leaned forward and hugged him.

With that settled, Hudson asked, "While we're all talking, is there anything else we should know?"

Lucas paused, and looked down at his hands. "There is one thing...it's not a big deal...I mean, it doesn't really matter now..."

They were all looking at him expectantly. He sighed.

"My father lied about my age to get me into school earlier. I'm eighteen."


	5. Chapter 5

Hudson lay in his quarters that night and thought of everything that had come out during their talk. He was surprised by the lengths to which he had been prepared to go to help his youngest crewmember. Having him stay on board was proving to be as much of a challenge as he had thought it would be, but his crew was rising to that challenge and united in a way they hadn't been before. He himself was doing things he would never have thought likely. There was something about the boy that made people feel protective of him, and apparently, he was no exception.

* * *

After they left Hudson's office, Lucas and Tony had gone to the moonpool. Neither of them had spoken a word, they just headed in that direction by mutual consent.

Lucas was the first to speak. "I'm sorry, Tony."

He looked up in surprise. "What for?"

"All of this. I'm sorry you were dragged into this."

"I wasn't dragged into this. Lucas, I'm sorry, but I started all of this. I asked Hudson why you got so much compensation." At Lucas' shocked look, he said, "I worry about you. And you won't talk to me, you won't talk to anyone. Why won't you trust us?"

Lucas waited for a long moment. Darwin swam up to them, and he tried to reach out to him. Wordlessly, Tony lifted Lucas out of the chair and set him down at the edge of the pool. He sat next to him as Lucas stroked Darwin's nose.

"Captain Bridger said he cared about me. So did Doctor Westphalen. So did Ben Krieg. They all told me I could talk to them and trust them. And they all left me. When I start trusting someone, they leave. You're my best friend, I've never had a friend like you before. Or Dagwood. I don't want to lose you."

"I've told you before, you're like my brother."

"Ben Krieg said that to me before. Captain Bridger said I was like a son to him. They still left."

"Well, I'm not planning on goin' anywhere. I'm planning to stay. Get promoted." He grinned at his friend, "Make you salute me!"

Lucas grimaced. "I've been such an ass to you, why are you still my friend?"

"Maybe I'm a...what's the word? Sadist?"

"Masochist."

"There you go, you make me smarter."

"I've said some really shitty things to you and everybody else. I don't understand why you let me hang around."

"Is that what you think?" He could see it was. "We don't 'let you hang around'. We like you. Yeah, you've bin kinda snarky lately, but you've been dealing with some stuff."

Lucas looked startled.

"We didn't know about this, but we knew something was up. We figured it was your parents or Bridger. Or Hyperion. We could cut you some slack."

Lucas took a deep breath.

"It was all of it. All the time, spinning around in my head. I got some sleeping pills off the Internex, and they helped, but the rest of the time I just couldn't stop thinking about it all. It felt like everything was spiraling out of control and there was nothing I could do. I was seventeen, I had no parents, no money, everything I knew was ten years out of date and the one person I'd followed to the ends of the earth..." His words caught in his throat. "He left me, without a goodbye or a backwards glance. And he said...he said..."

Tony moved closer and put his arm around his friend.

"He said, 'my life has so much more now." It made me feel like nothing. And he was the person who said he cared about me. How could I talk to anyone after that? How could I trust anyone again?"

Tony wished he had Bridger in front of him right then. He would have decked him.

"I'm not going anywhere. Neither is Dagwood. We got nowhere to go either. Tim's still here. If Perry's put up with Hudson this long, then she's here for the long haul. And I think you can trust me when I say that Hudson ain't givin' up this boat without a fight. Once he commits to something, he sees it through to the end. And he's committed to having you on board. You ain't goin' anywhere either."

* * *

Lucas started working on the prototype for the new PAL's the next day. At first, he had been a little quiet and nervous, his mind still on yesterday's meeting, but once he was working on a project he was excited about he was back to his old self.

True to his word, the new PAL's were just a little larger than wristwatches. The prototypes they tried were well received, being much easier to use and a more convenient size.

Lucas felt happy to be creating something again. He was surprised to find that they had been right. Talking about things had made him feel better, he felt lighter than he had in months.

He was happier, he was feeling better, and even though the meds still left him feeling nauseous, he was making a concerted effort to eat. He actually put on a couple of pounds.

When he went for his next check up with Doctor Perry, she told him that he was fit enough to finally time to start the treatments.

"I'm afraid it's going to be extremely painful at first. We'll sedate you for the initial procedure, you don't need to go through that, but afterwards you're going to experience a lot of discomfort. We're going to be injecting the solution into the injury sites, and that's going to hurt. Then, while it's working, I'm afraid you're going to feel it. We're trying to regrow the nerves and repair the muscle, and that's not a comfortable process. We're going to need to do this twice a month to see any results, so I just want to prepare you. You have to tell me if it's too much."

Lucas paled, but nodded. "I know. It will be worth it if I can walk again."

She looked at him doubtfully. "It would be wonderful if that happened, but you need to remember this is a treatment, not a cure. We're hoping that you'll regain some movement, but full recovery is extremely unlikely. The best case scenario would be recovering enough to walk with a cane, and that would take months. I don't want you to have unrealistic expectations, Lucas."

"I know. I'm just...hoping."

She smiled. "Well, a little hope is always a good thing. Ready?"

He nodded, and she placed the mask over his face.


	6. Chapter 6

When he woke again, he woke quickly, and in a world of pain. It seemed to radiate out from his back and his legs.

He had been told that the treatment would be painful, but he hadn't been prepared for how much agony he was in. He had been in pain pretty much constantly since his accident, but, apart from occasional spasms, it had mellowed to something he had learned to live with.

Now, he was experiencing a constant burning pain, shot through with lightening bursts of agony that he could never prepare for. His regular painkiller barely made a dent, but anything stronger made him even sicker than usual and left him feeling drugged. Since the only thing that seemed to help was immersing himself in his work, feeling drugged was the last thing he wanted. He hoped that eventually his body would start to accept the new treatments, but it was all he could do to hold on until then. His temper was becoming increasingly volatile, and people, while trying to make allowances for him, were becoming reluctant to be around him.

It came to a head one day when he was installing one of the upgrades to the communication system. Unable to move around and trace the problems as he usually did, he had to verbally guide the work crew where they needed to go.

It was one of those days. Everything seemed to have gone wrong; tools were missing and needed to be found before they could start, the members of the crew had been at a party the night before and were dopey and thick-headed, and the source of the problem was proving to be difficult to track.

The pain seemed to be especially bad that morning, and Dagwood had to help him get out of bed and dress. He couldn't even think about all the movements involved in showering. Dagwood had wanted Lucas to stay in bed while he fetched Doctor Perry, but Lucas had refused. He felt he had to do something, he couldn't face another day lying in bed drugged into unconsciousness. Lucas had been insistent that he would get the upgrades finished today, and he was going to do it.

He rubbed his hand over his face and felt a fine sheen of sweat. Just sitting upright today seemed to require the upmost effort. He clenched his teeth against another wash of pain, and looked in active dislike at the slow moving team, who had the freedom to move about as they wished and yet could only seem to go at a snail's pace. He heard a clatter and looked up.

"What now?" He demanded angrily.

Two of the team looked abashed. "Um...sorry. We just lost the screws to the casing, they fell down there somewhere. Should we go and see if we can find some more?"

He couldn't contain his frustration another minute. In an explosion of temper, he pushed over the small table beside him, sending tools flying across the floor.

"Just get out! GO! You're fucking useless anyway, just GET THE FUCK OUT!"

Startled, they skittered away from the flying tools and ran out.

He was shaking with anger. Determined still to finish the job, he moved himself over to an area where a small railing separated one computer bank from the rest. He grasped the railing and pulled himself away from his chair, in an attempt to lower himself to the floor.

Another intense wave of pain shot through him at the action, and he lost his grip, hitting his head on the side of his chair as he fell.

He didn't know how long he lay there unconscious. It didn't seem very long before the pain brought him back to himself. His whole body was shot through with intense agony. He could feel the cold steel floor beneath him. He was not going to lie there on the floor, helpless. Slowly, he pulled himself along the floor until he reached the wall, and pulled himself up to a sitting position. He was whimpering with the exertion.

He wiped his forehead, and noticed blood on his hand as he drew it away. He must have cut his head.

His anger turned. He sat on the cold, hard floor, unable to get up or back into his chair, and as the pain continued to radiate throughout, he sobbed for everything that had happened and all that he had lost.

* * *

Captain Hudson had met the work crew as they made their way back to the mess. He and Piccolo had been discussing Piccolo's training, when they - literally - bumped into them. Hudson frowned.

"I thought you were working on the new upgrades with Ensign Wolenczak?"

There was a pause before they spoke. "Em...yes Sir, we were."

"Have they been finished?"

One of them - Sharon, he remembered - looked sheepish. "Ensign Wolenczak told us to leave, Sir."

He raised an eyebrow in surprise.

Another one - was it Mike? No, Mark, he hadn't been with them very long - said belligerently, "We just dropped a couple of screws, but he knocked over a table and screamed at us to get the f- out!"

He was the only one that looked annoyed, the others looked shamefaced. Sharon started to speak, but Hudson interrupted.

"We'll talk about this later. Dismiss."

Hudson was angry. No officer of his was going to behave like that on his boat. He turned quickly on his heel and began to walk to the computer room. Tony hurried to keep pace beside him, wisely saying nothing. He knew Lucas' temper had been getting shorter and shorter, but he also knew that Lucas hadn't slept more than an hour or two each night since he had started his treatments, and Tony had heard his moans of pain. He had been awake when Tony had left for his early morning shift, even though he wasn't supposed to be on duty for four more hours.

He could see that Hudson was infuriated by Lucas' unprofessionalism, and hoped that he could help diffuse the Captain's wrath before he and Lucas, also at boiling point, met.

Captain Hudson walked down the deserted corridor and into the computer room.

Whatever he had been prepared for, it was not the sight of his ensign sitting against the wall crying desperately with deep, wracking sobs.

Tony left the Captain's side and ran over to Lucas.

"Lucas?"

Lucas couldn't seem to stop. All the tears that he hadn't shed in the months since the accident - no, even before that, since they'd returned from Hyperion and everything had started to go so horribly wrong - all of those tears now seemed determined to be released.

Tony did the only thing he could.

He took Lucas in his arms, and pulled his head onto his shoulder.

"Hey, it's okay," he murmured, "it's okay."

Lucas just shook his head, and continued to sob.

Hudson looked around the room. He saw the overturned table and scattered tools, and Lucas' chair lying on it's side, a dark mark beside it. Hudson knelt and examined it. It was a spot of blood. He saw a smudged trail where Lucas must have dragged himself over to the wall.

Eventually the flood of tears started to dry up. Lucas pulled himself away from Tony and wiped his eyes with back of his hand.

"I'm sorry."

Hudson saw where the blood had come from, he had a cut on his forehead, just above his eye.

"What happened Ensign?"

Lucas lay his head back against the wall, suddenly exhausted.

"I don't know."

They waited until he spoke again.

"I got so angry. They weren't even trying to work hard, they were hungover and slow, and I just thought...they can get drunk, and I can't even drink because of my meds, and they can move wherever they want to, and I can't, and everything I do takes so long now, I'm so slow, and I couldn't stand them a minute longer..."

His voice hitched again, and he swallowed and waited until he had control again, "And I thought, if I could just get down there, I could fix it myself. But I couldn't even do that, I fell. And then I realized...I realized..."

"I realized that I can't do this anymore." At a sound from Tony, he hurried on. "No, not that. I mean I can't do _this_ anymore." He looked at Hudson, who was watching him carefully.

"The treatments. I can't handle them." His voice was almost a whisper now. "I can't handle the pain. I can't sleep, I can't move, it hurts all the time. I thought that I could stay here and I'd get better, and everything would go back to normal, but I'm not going to get better, because I can't take the treatments."

Despite himself, he started to sob again.

Tony once again pulled his friend against his shoulder, and did his best to comfort him.

Hudson sat on the floor and watched the two of them. He had known that the treatments would be hard, but he hadn't known they were taking such a toll.

Lucas pulled himself together once again, gently pushing himself away from Tony. "I'm sorry, Captain. I can..." his voice hitched again, but continued, "be ready to leave whenever you need me to go. And thank you. For trying."

Hudson realized they were still sitting on the cold floor. "We can discuss this later. For now, let's get off this floor."

He indicated to Tony to fetch the chair, and together they lifted him into it. As they touched him, they saw his teeth clench and his nails dug into his palms, and he moaned with pain as they put him down. He was shaking.

"What's wrong, Ensign?"

"Just h..hurts."

"Let's get you to the doc, okay, Buddy?"

Tony looked at his friend properly. His hair was damp with sweat, and blood had caked over dark shadowed eyes. He was pale and shaking, and every movement seemed to result in a small whimper of pain. He realized that his friend was right. He couldn't carry on like this.


	7. Chapter 7

Doctor Perry insisted on giving him a thorough check over and keeping him in the med-bay. She pressed a hypodermic syringe to his neck, and he was unconscious within minutes. They went to sit in her office, and they told her what had happened.

"Well, we were waiting for him to breakdown. I guess this was it. I knew he was in pain, I didn't know that it was this bad. How long has he been having trouble sleeping?"

Tony looked guilty. "Since the first treatment, I don't think he's been getting more than a couple of hours a night. Dagwood and I have been working the night shift and the swing shift, and he's pretty much always awake when we are. A few times he's been asleep, but it hurts whenever he moves and he wakes himself up."

"Why is he in so much pain?" demanded Hudson. "You said this had been successful in the majority of cases."

"The problem is that most of the traditional painkillers don't work for him. Even the one I had him on before made him nauseated most of the time, and wasn't one hundred percent effective. Now, he needs something considerably stronger, but they're even worse. He gets sick to his stomach and he says he feels drugged."

Carried away with her train of thought, she didn't realize what she was saying when she added, "If he'd just tried the new one, it might have been better..." She caught herself suddenly, and stopped.

Hudson was alert. "What new one?"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."

"If there's something that could help him, we should know about it."

"He asked me not to discuss it, and he does have the right to insist on confidentiality when he deems it appropriate."

Captain Hudson was not going to be fobbed off. "Doctor Perry, the boy is eighteen years old, has no immediate family, no listed next of kin, and can't always be trusted to make the best decisions about his care. We are the closest thing he has to a family, and if there's something that can help him, we need to know what that is."

She thought for a moment. They had got in the habit of discussing his medical issues freely, since, as Hudson pointed out, there was no-one to make decisions for him when he couldn't make them for himself. Normally, that alone would have breached doctor/patient confidentiality, but he had been okay with her sharing information with his friends and the Captain. On this one point, however, he had specifically forbidden her from telling them. She felt that if they could discuss it, she could find out why he was against it, but she had to respect his wishes.

"I'm sorry, you'll have to ask him, I'm not able to discuss that."

Tony stood up, determined. "Fine. Sir, do I have your permission to wait here until he wakes up?"

"You do. And Mr. Piccolo, please call me the minute he's awake."

"Yes, Sir."

* * *

Lucas woke up a two hours later, still groggy but unable to escape into sleep again. He hurt everywhere. He saw Tony sitting by his bedside, watching him. Without saying a word, Tony picked up a PAL from the bedside table and called Captain Hudson.

"He's awake, Sir."

"Thank you, Mr. Piccolo, I'll be right there."

At last, he spoke to Lucas. "How are you feeling?"

Lucas attempted a shrug, but gasped as even that slight movement jarred him.

"You want some water?"

He did, but doubted that he could sit up without passing out. He decided that it wasn't worth it.

"No. Thanks."

He wondered what was happening. Tony seemed odd, and why was the Captain coming to see him? He felt sure that this was the end of the SeaQuest for him. He had lost his temper, he had even thrown something, like a child. There was no way Hudson would ever forgive this.

He was so preoccupied that he didn't even notice Hudson's arrival.

"Ensign."

He jumped slightly, and gasped at the pain of the movement.

"How are you feeling?"

Lucas licked his dry lips. "Fine, thank you, Sir."

"Yes, you look it."

There was a pause.

"Doctor Perry mentioned that the two of you discussed another painkiller that might be more effective, but apparently that discussion remains confidential. Care to explain why that is?"

Lucas was not prepared for this right now, his head felt too fuzzy. "It was my decision."

"Speaking as one of the people primarily concerned with your medical care, would you like to explain why that particular subject was never brought up to me? I feel I have a vested interest in the matter."

"It wasn't suitable...no point in talking about it."

"Was there a medical reason why you felt it wouldn't work for you?"

Silence.

"A personal reason?"

"I don't want to talk about it!"

"As your commanding officer, I feel I have a right to know."

Lucas couldn't seem to think straight enough to muster an argument to this. Realizing that Hudson would not let this drop, and being too tired to continue to fight, he conceded.

"Not with Tony here."

Hudson was surprised, but Tony looked shocked and hurt.

"Fine, I'll go." He stormed out. Lucas closed his eyes, and tried to get his thoughts under control. He hadn't meant to upset Tony.

"I'm waiting, Mr. Wolenczak."

"I couldn't afford it."

Whatever answer Hudson was expecting, it wasn't this.

"What?"

"The painkiller would cost $30,000 for the supply I need. I don't have the money."

Hudson nodded, and found he had another question. "Alright. Why didn't you want Tony to know?"

"I gave him some money, I didn't want him to feel bad. Captain, please, could you call someone? I need...something."

Hudson looked at the boy. Even lying there unmoving, he had sweat on his brow and his voice was starting to come in exhausted gasps. He thought how bad it must be for the boy to be asking for drugs. He signaled to Perry to come over.

"Lucas?"

"Please, can you me something? Anything?"

"I can, but it's pretty strong. It'll knock you out for a while, I'm afraid."

He nodded, and she went to fetch a syringe.

Hudson, feeling no guilt about taking advantage, asked, "Ensign, do I have your permission to discuss all medical matters with Doctor Perry and anyone that I feel needs to know?"

Lucas was in so much pain, he barely heard what Hudson was saying. "Yes, alright." His eyes were fixed desperately on the hypodermic, and as it was pressed to him, he closed his eyes and sighed in relief.

Doctor Perry stared at Hudson over the sleeping boy. "That was low. He didn't even know what he was saying."

"He gave permission, didn't he?"

"Yes, but..."

"Doctor, do you think refusing the painkiller was a good idea?"

"No."

"And do you think he always exhibits perfect judgement?"

"No."

"Sometimes in life we have to play dirty to get what we need. Let's go to your office."

* * *

"When did you first tell Wolenczak about the drug?"

"Just before he left for shore leave."

Hudson had suspected that. One thing you could say about Wolenczak, he was loyal to the people he cared about.

"And what did he think about it?"

"That's what I don't understand. He said it sounded wonderful, that it would be worth every penny if it worked half as well. Then, when he came back, he told me he'd decided against it and I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone about it. No explanation."

"He couldn't afford it."

"What?"

"He couldn't afford it. Wolenczak Industries went bankrupt, all his childhood earnings were badly invested, his mother took what little money he had when he disappeared. There is no Wolenczak fortune."

Doctor Perry's mouth dropped open, aghast. "He has no money?"

"He had a little. Compensation." He saw understanding cross her face. "He found out Tony's family needed help. He gave them the money."

"Oh no..."

"Do you think this drug would help him?"

"Yes. Reports of it so far have been good. I think that without it, we'll have no choice but to discontinue the treatments, and they're the only hope he has of gaining any kind of mobility. What are you thinking?"

"That if he doesn't have the money, then we'll have to find it for him."


	8. Chapter 8

Hudson had been trying to decide who to contact first, Admiral Noyce or Secretary General McGath. In the end, he decided to talk to Noyce first. He knew Wolenczak on a personal level, and being retired now had no problem discussing ways to cut through the red tape.

Noyce's face appeared on the Vidlink.

"Captain Hudson!"

"Admiral Noyce, I wonder if I may take a minute of your time?"

He explained their predicament.

"You're right, his accident means he should be eligible for a settlement from the UEO, but that's not a quick process. There are a few shortcuts you can take, but when a case like this goes through the proper channels, the amount given is generally greater."

"Unfortunately, we don't have the luxury of time, Sir. The doctor has already started the treatments, it would be detrimental to stop them now."

"I realize that." He paused, thinking something over. "Lucas is a popular kid. Have you thought of asking his friends for help?"

"I'm not sure he'd like that, Sir"

"Seems to me that he doesn't have much of a choice right now." Hudson had to concede that he was right in this. "What does Nathan think?"

"I'm afraid I haven't heard from Captain Bridger. If Lucas has heard from him, then I'm unaware of it."

Noyce looked surprised. "Does he know?"

"I don't know, Sir."

Noyce looked thoughtful. "I'm afraid I haven't heard from him either. But he and Lucas were so close...I assumed..." He thought a moment. "Where are you right now?"

Hudson gave their location, and Noyce's face lit up.

"I'm not far from you! I'll come and talk to him, and I know someone else that would like to see him too! Hold your position - if anyone asks, tell 'em it's my orders - and I should be with you by morning!"

Hudson grimaced. He hated playing host on his boat.

* * *

Even with the drugs, Lucas had a disturbed night. Each time he woke up, he looked around and saw he was alone. He knew Tony was on the swing shift, and he thought that he might have stopped by to check on him. He remembered that he had seemed to be mad at him about something, but he wasn't sure what. He started biting his thumbnail as he tried to think.

* * *

After Hudson had spoken to Noyce, he called Piccolo to join him.

"Sir?" There was a note in his voice.

"Anything wrong, Mr. Piccolo?"

"No Sir."

Hudson studied him. "Are you upset that Lucas didn't want to talk in front of you?"

That was it. He saw a truculent expression flash across the young man's face. "He can talk to whoever he wants, Sir."

"Do you want to know why he didn't want to talk in front of you?"

Piccolo glared at him. Hudson sighed. He was starting to feel more like a den mother than a captain.

"Mr. Wolenczak refused the new painkiller because he couldn't afford it. He didn't want you to know in case you felt badly about it."

Piccolo looked stunned. "How much was it?"

"$30,000."

"How much? For painkillers? How can they charge that?" He stopped, as another thought occurred to him. "When did he know about this?"

"Doctor Perry told him before he left on shore leave."

Now, Tony's expression was one of horror. "He knew about it when he gave my dad the money?" He stood up. "Sir, can I go and see him?"

* * *

Lucas was still trying to sleep, but couldn't seem to find a comfortable position. The drugs Perry had given him didn't seem to be helping much. He tried to move a little to take the pressure from his back, and groaned.

"Need help?"

His eyes flew open. "Tony!"

Tony leaned forward and helped his friend to a better position.

"Thanks."

"Sorry. I was annoyed when I heard you'd refused the new painkiller, and then I got mad that you didn't want me around."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't really got anything you need to apologize for, do ya? I heard what it cost you to help us out."

"Tony..."

"We wouldn't have wanted you to do that, Lucas, not at that cost."

"It wasn't that much."

"Really? 'Cause from where I stand, it looks like it cost you any chance you had of walking again."

"It isn't your fault. I knew what I was doing. I'm a genius, remember? I knew what it might mean."

"The treatments are your best hope, Luke. If you have to stop them..." He trailed off.

"Don't call me Luke." He smiled weakly. "I have to stop them, Tony. It's too much, I can't function I'm in so much pain. I'd rather spend the rest of my life in that chair," despite himself, his voice hitched at the thought of it, " than go through the last few days again. Whatever happens next."

"Why, what do ya think's gonna happen?"

"Hudson won't want me here like this forever, Tony. I'm sure when he made arrangements for me, he expected I'd be walking again soon."

Tony didn't know what to say. "Lucas..." They all knew the odds of him ever walking unaided were small, and that even if the treatments had worked, it would have taken months.

"Anyway, he's probably furious. I knocked a table over and yelled at the crew."

"Not your usual style."

"No. I couldn't think straight. It hurt so much, and I was so tired. I can't even sleep anymore."

"He won't make you leave because of that. And he knew there weren't guarantees about you walking." That seemed to be the most tactful way to put it. "Think you could sleep now?"

"I want to, I'm so tired..."

"Then try, close your eyes. I'll sit here a while, okay?" He knew how much his friend hated to be alone.

"Thanks Tony."

"Go to sleep."

He sat and watched his friend, as he had so many times now. He seemed to have spent months sitting by his bedside, hoping he'd get better. Now he realized what Lucas had sacrificed when he'd given them the money.

Lucas had given up hope.


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning, Admiral Noyce's launch arrived. Jonathon Ford was waiting to greet them.

"Commander Ford! How are you?"

"Thank you, Admiral, I'm very well. And you?"

"Enjoying retirement, Commander."

"The Captain said you were bringing a friend?"

"Yes. He's just getting the bags."

They heard footsteps. Jonathon looked up to see a familiar grin.

"Ben Krieg!"

He put out his hand, only to find himself pulled into a hug.

"What are you doing here?"

"Bill and I," he grinned at Jonathon's reaction to calling the great Admiral Noyce, 'Bill', "have been working together to coordinate some relief for refugees. I've been here for a couple of weeks. Last night he called me and said he was coming to see Lucas. How is he? Can we go see him?"

Jonathon's smile fell.

"He's had it pretty rough. He's lost a lot of weight, he looks pretty bad, you should be prepared."

"I thought it happened a few months ago?"

"It did. But he's had a few setbacks. His immune system is shot to hell, and his pain meds make him nauseous, so he hasn't gained much weight. He put a little on over Christmas, but he caught the flu as well, and that knocked him back a bit."

They arrived at the med-bay.

"He's in here?"

"His painkillers weren't working, seems he hasn't been telling anyone. He had a bad day yesterday, and the doc wanted to keep him here until he felt better."

They walked into the med-bay.

Lucas lay with his arm across his face, nothing visible but his hair. Asleep on a chair nearby was Tony Piccolo. Ford leaned forward and gently touched his shoulder. He woke with a start, and instantly looked to the side to see if he'd woken Lucas. Satisfied that he hadn't, he turned again to Ford, and recognized for the first time that he wasn't alone.

He quickly executed a sloppy salute. "Sir!"

Admiral Noyce smiled. "At ease, soldier. Sorry to disturb you, although I doubt that was the most comfortable sleep you've had."

"Aw, I can sleep anywhere. He had a rough night," he said, by way of explanation. He saw the other man. "Hey, Ben Krieg, isn't it? We met before, but you probably don't remember me. Tony Piccolo. Lucas was always talking about you."

Ben noticed the past tense, but filed it away for later. At that moment, Lucas shifted with a moan, and opened his eyes.

It was the first time the Admiral and Ben saw him properly, and Ben couldn't help a little gasp of shock. The Admiral recovered quicker, but he was shaken.

Tony turned to cover the moment.

"Hey Luke, wake up, you've got visitors!"

Lucas turned bleary, shadowed eyes to the others. His eyes widened when he registered who was there.

"Admiral Noyce? _Ben_?"

"Yeah, they're here to visit you. Here, let's get you up. Commander?"

He helped to raise him, while Ford placed pillows behind him. He moaned as they moved him and lost all color.

Tony filled a glass of water and held it out to him. His hand was shaking as he drank.

Ben was not prepared for this. Sure, they'd said he'd had an accident and that it was bad, but he'd never quite stopped picturing Lucas, cocky and restless after crashing the Stinger. He could still see traces of his Lucas in this new and scary Lucas, but they were faint. He tried to find his voice, but Noyce got there first.

"Lucas! How are you?"

Lucas found a smile. "Admiral Noyce, it's nice to see you again."

"I just wish it was under better circumstances. How are you feeling?"

"Much better, thank you, Sir." His voice had a slight slur to it. Ben couldn't imagine how he must have been before, if this could be described as 'much better'.

Ben realized he had to speak. "Lucas!" He moved to hug him, and then checked, unsure.

"Probably best not," said Lucas sadly. "What are you doing here?"

"I've just started working with Bill. I only just heard what happened and wanted to see you, and luckily, we were in the area."

Lucas looked like he wanted to speak, but quickly glanced at the others and stopped himself.

Tony came over with Doctor Perry, and while she was introduced to the others, asked Lucas, "You okay if take off and catch some z's?"

Lucas nodded, and added sincerely, "Thanks for coming last night, Tony."

"No problem. Call me if you need anything at all, okay?"

As Tony left, Perry started checking Lucas' pulse and asked quietly, "I just want to check how you're doing, would you like them to leave while we talk?" He considered a moment, and then realized that they were unlikely to hear anything they didn't already know.

"No, it's fine."

"Okay. How are you feeling?" While she talked, she checked his temperature.

"Okay..." he began, and then amended, "It's not as bad as it was. My head feels really fuzzy and strange, and I'm tired."

"Well, that's to be expected. You're on some pretty heavy duty drugs. It's worrying that you're still feeling pain. How's the nausea, do you think you could manage some breakfast?"

He lost what little color he had at the thought of food. "Okay, I guess not. At least try and stay hydrated, and we'll see if you can manage something in a little while, even if it's just some broth. If you can't, then I'll have to start an IV. In the meantime, enjoy your visitors."

"So Lucas," Noyce began, "What do you think of the advances in computing in the past few years? Anything you could have predicted?"

Lucas was so relieved to be asked such an ordinary question, that he felt himself relax.

Jonathon excused himself, and Bill discussed changes in technology over the past decade, while somehow managing to avoid mentioning Wolenczak Industries, World Power, Hyperion or anything else that might be controversial.

Lucas contributed little to the discussion, still feeling the effects of being heavily drugged, but the Admiral kept up the conversation so well that Lucas even laughed a few times, at one point stopping midway to hold himself still as a jolt of pain ran through him. Ben looked anxious, but Noyce, a seasoned soldier, continued to talk as though nothing had happened. Lucas liked that, and felt more at ease than he had in a long time.

After a little while, Captain Hudson came down to join them.

"Admiral Noyce, welcome aboard, sorry I couldn't be with you sooner, we had a problem with one of the engines that needed my attention. Mr. Krieg, good to see you again."

He was surprised to see that Lucas had a little color in his cheeks, and looked as though he had just been laughing. He realized that he'd never actually seen Lucas laugh.

"Mr. Wolenczak, you're looking better. How are you feeling?"

"Better, Sir, thank you." Hudson noticed the slightly drunken slur.

Noyce stood up. "Oliver, if you have a minute, there are a few things I'd like to discuss with you. Gentlemen, if you'll excuse us." They walked away, leaving Ben alone with Lucas.

Lucas again looked like he wanted to say something, and then stopped himself.

"Come on Kid, spit it out, what is it?"

"Why are you here?" Lucas blurted. "I thought...you said we were on different sides. I thought you didn't want to see me again."

Ben looked shocked. "Lucas, I said I was on a different side to the UEO, not to you. We're friends. I can disagree with your point of view, and still be your friend. I'm still friends with Katie, and she's a UEO Captain now. And I'm becoming good friends with Bill. Is that why you didn't call me and tell me what happened?"

"I haven't told anybody."

"What?"

"I haven't had to tell anyone. I thought you didn't want to have anything to do with me. I've lost touch with my friends, they're all ten years older now." He seemed to be losing focus. "I looked them up after we got back. Nick and Julianna got married, can you believe it? I called them once, it was really awkward."

"What about Captain Bridger and Doctor Westphalen?"

Lucas tensed at the mention of the former captain.

"Can you imagine what Doctor Westphalen would say if she knew I joined up? She called me a few times when we first got back, but I didn't speak to her. She gave up after a while."

"Lucas..."

"Can you imagine what she'd say if she saw me now?"

"Yes, I can. She'd say she was sorry, and that she'd like to help and be here for you."

Lucas shook his head in contradiction.

"What about Captain Bridger?" He didn't know what had happened between the two of them, but he could see that it was a sensitive subject. Lucas laid his head back on his pillow.

"He doesn't need me now." And then, starting to ramble, "He found his grandson, did you know? He left to go and look for Robert, to find out what happened to him. He's come back to SeaQuest a couple of times since then. The second time he was working for Section Seven."

"Section Seven?" Ben knew them by reputation.

"Yeah. He wasn't happy that I joined up. Don't know what else he expected me to do, I've lived here since I was fourteen."

"Fourteen?"

"My dad lied about my age."

"So you're only..."

"I just turned eighteen."

"Lucas! Does Bridger know about this?"

"No. And Hudson said I should keep it to myself for the time being."

'Why?'

'Can you keep it to yourself?'

'Sure.'

'He said that if I ever had problems with the UEO - you know, if they tried to transfer me or something - if wouldn't be a bad thing if my contract was signed when I was still legally a minor.'

"Huh, smart. Don't worry, I won't say anything."

"So does Bridger know about the accident?"

"No. I tried to contact him a couple of times before, but I never heard from him. He sent me a Christmas card, it arrived late. He said he'd gone away for a while, but he'd try to get in touch soon."

Ben couldn't think of anything to say. Luckily, he was saved by Doctor Perry.

"Lucas, how are you feeling? Do you think you could try to eat something now?"

Knowing the alternative was an IV, he nodded.

"Maybe some soup?"

"Could I have some toast instead?" Even soup seemed too greasy in his present state.

"Alright. What about some tea to go with it?"

"Okay. Thanks."

"Mr. Krieg, would you like me to get something for you, or would you like to go to the mess hall?"

"Oh, thanks. I'll stay here a while longer, then I'll go say hello to Tim."

They sat in silence for a while. Within a few minutes Dagwood arrived with a cup of tea, and a plate of dry toasted bread.

"Hey Lucas, are you feeling better?"

"Yes, Dagwood, thanks. Do you remember Ben?"

"Hello Ben."

"Hi, Dagwood." He looked a the plate, and then at Lucas. "That's what you're eating?"

"The pain meds make me nauseous. I'll be lucky if I can eat half of this. Dagwood always overestimates my appetite."

Ben looked at the small plate of toast. He and Dagwood kept up a conversation while Lucas arduously ate two small slices and sipped at his tea. When he finished the second slice, he pushed the plate away from him as though he had finished a banquet.

"I can't eat any more."

"Okay." Dagwood moved his plate away. "Would you like to lie down? You look tired."

Lucas glanced at Ben, worried.

"Get some rest! I'll go to the mess hall and annoy Jon."

Dagwood leaned forward and moved the pillows. Lucas lay back, wincing, and fell asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

When he woke up again, it was the afternoon. Ben was lounging in the chair beside him. He thought that it required some skills to be able to lounge in a chair like that.

"Hi Lucas. Good nap?"

Lucas grinned at Ben's casual irreverence. He made it sound as if Lucas had just closed his eyes for an afternoon siesta.

"Yeah. Why are you sitting here?"

"Came to see you. You're here."

"Oh." Lucas moved to push himself up, and Ben moved forward to help.

"No, it's okay, I've got it."

Doctor Perry was watching. "Looks like you're feeling better?"

"Yes, thanks."

"How's the pain?"

He smiled at her. "Manageable. Whatever you gave me, it worked!"

She grimaced. "What I gave you were enough drugs to knock out an elephant! Still, I'm glad they're working."

"And I ate my lunch, and rested. Can I go back to my quarters now?"

"I suppose so. But you're off duty for the rest of today and tomorrow, and if I hear that you've missed a meal I will have Dagwood carry you back here forcibly. If the pain gets worse or you can't sleep, you will tell me, Tony or Dagwood, is that understood?"

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Alright then." She pulled his chair to the bed, and handed him his clothes.

"Um...Ben?"

"Yes?"

"Do you mind? I want to get dressed..."

"Oh! Sure." He pulled the curtain and waited.

"Okay."

Ben was surprised to see Lucas beside him in his chair, and it took him a minute to reconcile the figure in the chair with his friend. He had known that Lucas was in a chair now, but seeing him in it was a different matter.

"Shall we go?"

Lucas led the way to his quarters, and Ben was impressed that Hudson had made such a change to accommodate his friend.

"Very nice..." he said, as he was ushered inside.

Tony was sitting on the top bunk, Dagwood on the bottom.

"Yeah, we've got the best room on the boat, haven't we Dag?"

"We have a real shower!"

"I'm impressed!"

Tony grinned at him. "It's all about who ya know! You feelin' better, Luke?"

"Don't call me Luke."

"He's feelin' better! In honor of our esteemed guest, about who..."

"Whom."

"About _whom_ I have heard so much, I've arranged for the gang to join us for poker. I'll give them a call and let them know you're here."

"How did you know Perry would let me out?"

"I had a hunch. Plus, Dag told me you looked better and ate some lunch. Also said you were pumped full of meds, seemed like a good moment to get you in a card game! Might give the rest of us a chance!"

They laughed, and Ben recognized the easy camaraderie that he and Lucas had once shared. He missed it, but he was glad that Lucas had friends who could be there for him.

* * *

They all enjoyed the card game. Ben realized early on that Jon and Lonnie had a relationship, and went out of his way to flirt with her, to everyone's amusement. Lonnie joined in the teasing by pretending to respond to some of his overtures. Tony and Ben were each trying to impress the other with their card skills, and spent so much time worrying about each other that Tim, who had no distractions at all, was winning every hand. Dagwood preferred to watch, and Lucas sat out after only one hand, having found himself completely unable to concentrate. Ben's eyes had followed his every move as he carefully lifted himself from his chair to his bed, and landed with a small groan. At the groan, Ben's eye's turned quickly to Tony, who shook his head minutely.

To everyone's surprise, Bill Noyce appeared at the door, and asked to join in.

There were a few stilted moments, until the play proceeded and they realized that Bill Noyce had a natural talent for poker, and was now winning every penny from them.

Lucas, happy and relaxed in the company of his friends, and exhausted from the day and the drugs, leaned his head back and fell asleep. Tony looked over and saw him.

"Hey, just a second, okay guys?"

They looked up from their cards, surprised.

He walked over to Lucas. "Dagwood, wanna give me a hand here?"

Dagwood lifted Lucas carefully, while Tony pulled back the sheets, and between them they took off his shoes and shirt.

Tony looked around to see everyone watching them. "It would be great if none of you mentioned this, he'd hate to think you saw this."

Noyce asked, "Does this happen often?"

"No. Doc Perry told me they gave him enough drugs to knock out an elephant, she warned me he might crash like this."

Lonnie looked concerned. "Should we go?"

"Na. He likes to have people around, he'll sleep better with us here."

Jonathon was looking at him. "He still looks like a kid when he's asleep."

Ben chimed in. "I know what you mean. Like that, he looks exactly like he did when we first met him." He paused. "Is he going to get better?"

Tim answered him. "If he can continue with the treatments, there's a good chance that he'll gain some mobility, he might even get to the point where he can walk with a cane. But he's never going to be like he was, and he's probably always going to feel some degree of pain."

Tony picked up his cards, and threw them down again. "Problem is, he can't continue with the treatments. He's already said he'll have to stop them."

Admiral Noyce threw a card into the middle of the table.

"Then we'll just have to do something about that, won't we?"

* * *

Tony had just finished in the shower the next morning, when he heard a knock at the door. It was Ben, with four cups of coffee and two boxes of doughnuts. Tony gaped.

"Where the hell d'ya get doughnuts?"

"Others have learned not to question what I can do! What can I say? I'm impressive!" They both grinned.

Dagwood looked at the boxes. "Can I have one?"

"Sure, Dagwood, help yourself. I brought coffee as well." He set them on the table. "Lucas not awake yet."

"'M awake." Lucas rubbed his eyes and stretched, the action making him look so much like a little kid that Ben debated giving him the coffee. "Are those...doughnuts?"

"Yeah, I brought you a treat! What would you like?"

"Any chocolate frosted?"

Ben handed him one with a napkin. Tony looked at him with interest.

"Hey, you got an appetite this morning?"

"Yeah, I'm really hungry!"

Ben thought of the boy's drugged out state from yesterday, and grinned at Tony. "Shoulda brought him some Dorito's!"

Tony snickered, understanding the reference at once. "I should go and get you some proper food while you're hungry. Don't want to think what Perry would say if she found out you were finally hungry and we just gave you doughnuts!"

Dagwood picked up two more doughnuts from the box, with a quick look at Ben to check that it was okay. At Ben's nod, he took a bite, and with his mouth covered with powder said, "I'll go."

"Is that coffee?"

Ben passed him a cup.

"Thanks. Hey, I want to shower, could you save me another chocolate one?"

"Sure thing, kid."

He sat down and bit into his own jam doughnut. He watched as Lucas pulled himself into his chair with a wince before heading to the bathroom. He didn't think that seeing that would ever get easier.

Tony could read his thoughts. "You get used to it, seeing it everyday, but every now and then..."

"You're good about helping him. You're okay with it?"

"Yeah. He's like my brother."

"I always felt that way about him. I'm sorry I let him forget."

"You're here now, that's the important thing."

They both thought about, but did not mention, Nathan Bridger.

"The Captain wants to have a meeting in half an hour. Senior staff, you and I, Noyce. Not Lucas."

"Okay. I'm meant to start my shift then anyways, so he won't suspect anything. You can come with me."

"Sounds like a plan. Another doughnut?"


	11. Chapter 11

"Thank you all for coming, please sit down. I'm afraid we need to discuss Mr. Wolenczak. As you all know, it seems the new treatments have been a little more painful than expected. Our Ensign has an adverse reaction to most painkillers. There is a new painkiller on the market that may help him. Without it, we will have to discontinue his treatments."

Commander Ford spoke for them all when he asked, "So, why are you telling us this?"

"The new painkiller costs $30,000." To their confused faces, he explained, "Wolenczak Industries went bankrupt five years ago. All of Lucas' money had been invested in it by his parents. He has no money."

There was a stunned silence.

Lonnie spoke first. "I just assumed..."

"I think we all did," Jonathon stared at the others.

Tim was the first to understand what the Captain was saying. "So, how can Lucas afford the painkiller?"

"And there, Mr. O. Neill, is the problem. I've spoken to Admiral Noyce," he gestured towards Bill, "about starting a claim for compensation for his accident, but apparently it's a long process, and we don't have the luxury of time."

Tim spoke first. "Could we help? I've got some money saved..."

Ford nodded, "Me too, I could give something."

They were all nodding.

Tony spoke up, embarrassed. "Look, I'd love to help, but I ain't got any money."

Ford smiled at him. "Yeah, but you and Dagwood get to help him everyday. The rest of us haven't really had an opportunity to do anything yet. We'd love to do something for him. Trouble is, I'm not sure about the rest of you, but I only have a few thousand."

Again, they all nodded, except Lonnie, who said, "I'm afraid I only have a couple of hundred, but I'd love him to have it."

Bill Noyce spoke up. "I've donated quite a bit to the refugee relief effort, but I'd like to give $6000. And I spoke to McGath, and he would like to donate $8000." He smiled at Hudson's stunned expression.

Captain Hudson recovered himself, and added, "I'd also like to add $5000."

Tim was taking notes. "That gives us $19,000."

Tim spoke up again, "I have an idea...what about calling Doctor Westphalen? As a doctor, she might have connections to get it cheaper."

Hudson considered. "That's a good idea. Do you know how to contact her?"

"I haven't spoken to her since the end of the first tour, but I'm sure I could find her. Do you know if Lucas has spoken to her?"

Ben answered him. "He hasn't. We all know how she feels about the military, Lucas didn't tell her that he joined up. Which means, she doesn't know about the accident either."

Tim looked uncomfortable. "Well, that's going to be a fun conversation."

Hudson thought it was interesting that no-one had mentioned Nathan Bridger, when Commander Ford spoke.

"What about Captain Bridger?"

"I called him after the accident. I haven't heard from him. I know that Lucas hadn't heard from him since we all saw him last, and I haven't asked if he's spoken to him since."

They digested this.

Lonnie spoke into the silence. "Is Lucas going to be okay with us doing all of this?"

Hudson replied, pragmatically, "He'll have to be."

* * *

Hudson let Tim use the Vidlink in the wardroom for what was undoubtedly going to be a difficult conversation with Kristin Westphalen. After about half and hour, Tim returned to the bridge.

"She's going to see what she can do, and then she'll call us back."

"How did it go?"

"Well, it's not going to make my list of the top ten favorite conversations this year," he said acerbically, and then, remembering who he was speaking to, 'Sir."

* * *

She called back within the hour, and asked for Captain Hudson to be present. She looked at him the same way his first commander did. He found himself making a conscious effort to stand up straight.

"Captain Hudson, I presume?"

"Yes, Doctor."

"I have the medication. I've sent my co-ordinates, and it's not too far from you. You can come and pick me up." There was no suggestion that this was a request.

"Madam," he smiled inwardly as he saw her bristle, "This is a military vessel. I require orders from a superior officer before I can take the SeaQuest anywhere."

Tim prepared for the full force of her temper, but she surprised him by simply responding,

"Oh really? Very well then, you can expect a call from Secretary General McGath within the next half hour. THEN you can come and pick me up." She closed the Vidlink.

Hudson looked at Tim. "Impressive."

* * *

The call did come within half an hour, from a very angry McGath.

"Captain Hudson, you are to take the SeaQuest to collect Doctor Westphalen immediately, and she is welcome to stay on your vessel as long as she deems it necessary. And one more thing, Hudson. If you ever make that woman call me again, I will make your life as miserable as she makes mine!"

On hearing that the SeaQuest was going to be leaving the area to collect Doctor Westphalen, Admiral Noyce and Ben Krieg realized that they had to return to their work.

No-one wanted to tell Lucas what was happening, so they simply told him they had to leave and made their farewells.

Ben gave him a long hug. "Don't ever make the mistake of thinking we're not friends, okay Kid? You ever need anything, you just give me a call, okay?"

Ben stood up, and shook the hands of Tony and Dagwood. "That goes for you guys too, okay?"

He turned and walked into the docking bay.

"Nice guy," remarked Tony.

"Yeah. He was always fun. Where are we heading, anyway?"

'McGath ordered us to go pick up a VIP."

"Bet Hudson loves that."

"Lucas, you have no idea!"


	12. Chapter 12

Kirstin Westphalen arrived like a whirlwind early the next morning, greeting Hudson frostily and demanding to see Doctor Perry immediately.

Captain Hudson was very happy to deposit her in the med-bay and make his escape. Within minutes, the two doctors were surrounded by a mound of papers, charts and x-rays.

Kristin put down the x-ray she was examining, and tried to joke. "Well, let's hope he doesn't have to go through a metal detector any time soon!" Her voice cracked on the last word. "Tim told me what had happened, but I didn't imagine this. I suppose you don't, when it's someone you care about."

Doctor Perry bustled about her office, and then handed the other woman a cup of tea.

"Lovely, thank you." She took a sip, and then held on to it's comforting warmth. "How bad is it?"

Perry took a sip of her own tea. "You can see how bad the original injury was, that on it's own would have been enough. But the hospital stay nearly killed him. They pretty much wiped out his immune system, and he could have done without the nightmares and the drug addiction. Not to mention the weight loss. He lost a huge amount, and because of the nausea, he just can't seem to regain it. Tony took him home for Christmas, and he did put on a few pounds, but then he caught the flu. He just can't seem to catch a break."

"He never had the best luck. How is he handling it?"

"Better. He's had some rough times, but he seems to be letting his friends help a little more. As you can see, we have him on an anti-depressant, but if he continues to improve I'd like to wean him off it."

"Has he had any more panic attacks?"

"Not since Christmas. Just the episode the other day, and frankly, I've been expecting something like that for a while. I'm surprised it didn't come sooner."

"He always did like to internalize everything. It looks like you've done everything you can for him."

"Everybody has. I know you don't want to hear it, but Captain Hudson has really done a huge amount to help him. He modified one of the VIP rooms especially for him, he's tried to get him to talk about things, he's pretty much taken Tony and Dagwood off any kind of regular schedule so that they can help him, and now he's moving heaven and earth to get him this medication."

"I know. When something like this happens, you want to blame someone. Captain Hudson seemed like an easy choice. What about Nathan Bridger?"

"That seems to be the $64,000 question. No-one knows, he hasn't been in touch. As far as we all know, he hasn't even heard."

"I don't understand it, they used to be so close." She trailed off. "When do I get to see him?"

"I've asked Tony to tell him to come down here as soon as he's awake."

* * *

"I don't understand why I have to go to the med-bay again."

"Probably just a quick check up, you know how she likes to be thorough."

"Yeah, I guess."

"I don't start my shift for another hour, hows about I walk with you? I wanted to talk to you about something anyway."

They made their way down to the med-bay.

"That sounds ominous."

"Nah, nothing like that. Captain Hudson said that you had no next of kin listed."

Lucas looked puzzled. "No. What about it?"

"I was talking to Aunt Angie, and she and I...well, we was wondering if you'd like to put us down."

Lucas froze, and then looked up, shocked. "You'd want me to do that?"

"Yeah. Like I said before, you're family."

He was moved by the expression on Lucas' face. "Shall I tell Doc Perry when we go in?"

Lucas nodded. "Yes. I'd like that. Thanks, Tony."

"Don't mention it, Kid."

They were still busy talking when they entered, and Lucas didn't notice Doctor Westphalen at first.

* * *

She looked up as the doors to the med-bay opened and saw him come in. She was glad to have a minute to compose herself before she spoke to him. She had, of course, seen his files, but it still hadn't prepared her for the reality.

Lucas...her Lucas...in a wheelchair. He looked so thin, and horribly pale, but he was talking animatedly to the young man beside him. As silly as it was, she didn't like how comfortable he seemed, how normal he was acting. She felt this whole situation should be as unreal to him as it was to her. She stood up and walked over to him.

"Lucas."

He turned in surprise, and his eyes widened. "Doctor Westphalen? What are you doing here?"

"Tim called me."

"Why?"

"Why? The question, young man, is not why he called me, but why didn't you call me? Didn't you think I'd want to see you?"

He still looked surprised, but now he also looked defensive.

"I thought you'd be angry that I'd joined up, I know your feelings about the military."

She saw his friend place a hand on his shoulder for support.

"I'm not happy that you joined up, of course not. But I understand why you felt you had to. And I still care about you, I still want you in my life."

He looked at her disbelievingly, and she knelt down and hugged him.

"Oh my poor, dear boy, of course I do! I love you very much, you foolish boy!"

They hugged each other fiercely, and wiped their eyes. Tony turned to leave, but found his wrist grabbed by Lucas.

"Doctor Westphalen, I'd like you to meet Tony. He and Dagwood have been helping me."

She smiled at him, her eyes shining with approval.

"Hi!" He looked uncertain as to whether he should shake hands or salute. She pulled him into a hug.

"Of course, Doctor Perry has told me all about you, she says very good things. I'm glad Lucas has such a responsible friend!"

Lucas grinned, and Tony choked on a laugh.

The doctor fixed Lucas with a hard stare. "I believe he has been extremely capable. Doctor Perry tells me that the only time you've put on any weight was when you were in his care!"

Lucas smiled at Tony. "She's right, he's really looked after me. And Dagwood. They both have," his smile slipped a little, "I couldn't have coped without them."

Tony blushed under the attention. "Yeah, well, I gotta go, see you later."

* * *

Doctor Westphalen persuaded Lucas to allow her to examine him herself. It wasn't, she said, that she didn't trust Doctor Perry, with whom she had developed one of those instant friendships. It was just that she felt she needed to check him over for her own peace of mind. Lucas had, somewhat grudgingly, agreed.

She tried to maintain no expression when she saw the full nature of his injury, and tried not to let her eyes linger on the deep scars. She tutted at his weight, and was horribly aware that she could almost see each and every rib. Then she tested his sensitivity and range of movement. Everything was consistent with the reports she had received from Perry, but she had hoped that the doctor's assessment had been overly gloomy.

"I heard that you were concerned that Captain Hudson would ask you to leave the SeaQuest if you couldn't receive the treatments, because you didn't think he'd want you if you couldn't walk?" It was a question.

"I can't continue the treatments. It hurts too much. And I don't know why he'd want me if there's no hope that I can be like I was."

"Lucas," she looked into his eyes, hating herself for what she was going to say. "Lucas, they told you there was little likelihood of that. The treatments will help, but you're never going to be walking unaided again, and if you do gain some mobility, it will take months...you do understand that?"

Lucas looked away, looking at that moment every inch the stubborn child she had known all those years ago.

"Lucas, Captain Hudson knew that too. He's going to try to keep you on the SeaQuest whatever happens. He doesn't expect you to start walking again. When he made the arrangements for you to stay, he understood what he was doing. And you need to understand that too."

"You don't think I'll have to leave?"

"No, I don't. But I don't think you should stop the treatments, either."

He started to interrupt.

"No, let me finish. You are unlikely to ever regain full mobility, and I'm afraid that you have to accept that. But the treatments may help you to recover some sensation and movement, and enable you to sit for longer without pain, and hopefully to be able to walk short distances with help. You may even, in the fullness of time, be able to walk with crutches or a cane." She felt a sudden wave of hopeless anger at the bleak future that she had to explain to an eighteen year old boy.

"I can't take the treatments. I've tried. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't do anything. I can't go through that again."

"Yes, I know. It was because she couldn't give you the traditional painkillers. It's a painful process anyway, but without them - well, it's like jumping out of an aeroplane without a parachute." She took a deep breath and continued. "Lucas, I know that you may not like this, but Admiral Noyce, Secretary General McGath, Captain Hudson and I have all contributed a little money, and I used my connections to get a better price...and we got the new painkiller for you."

As she expected, Lucas looked horrified.

"No!"

"Indeed, yes. You need this painkiller, Lucas. Even without the new treatments it would be advisable. You're still in too much pain, and the nausea is preventing you from gaining weight. But anyway, you can't discontinue the treatments, you need to see what they can do for you."

"I won't take their money!"

"Why not? You gave Tony money to help his family, how is this different?"

"It is different! He helps me, all the time! He and Dagwood, they help me get out of bed, they make me eat, they sit up all night when I'm sick! I even found out that I keep them awake all night, I owe Tony!"

"Is that how he sees it?"

"No, of course not."

"Of course it isn't. He's doing it because you're friends. Which is the same reason that Dagwood is doing this, I'm sure. It's certainly why I want to help."

"And Admiral Noyce, Secretary General McGath and Captain Hudson? Are they my friends too?"

"I don't know about McGath. Bill Noyce is certainly your friend, and if Captain Hudson hates you, he has a funny way of showing it. If you really hate it, you can pay them back later on."

"With what?"

"Well, I"ve heard all about the new PAL system. That looks like something the UEO would like to own the rights to."

"Well, I'll buy the painkillers then!"

"Lucas, you've already started the treatments. You can't stop and start, they have to be taken consecutively. This has to be done now. Besides, as I said, I used my contacts and got a good discount. They didn't cost as much as you think."

Despite himself, he looked interested. "How much were they?"

"$20,000." She looked inordinately pleased with herself. "Not bad, even if I do say so myself!"

She leaned forward and tucked a lock of his hair behind his ear. "Let us do this for you. Everybody wants to help."

"Secretary General McGath?"

"I imagine that he feels a certain degree of guilt over your recent treatment and would feel better if he could make some kind of reparation."

Lucas colored as he understood her inference. "I got compensation," he said quietly.

"From the UEO. Not from him."

"And Admiral Noyce? Captain Hudson?"

"If it hadn't been for William Noyce, you would never have been on this boat in the first place. You were the bait to lure in Nathan Bridger."

They were both quiet for a moment. It was the first time his name had come up between them.

As if to change the subject, Lucas said, "Well, Captain Hudson has nothing to feel guilty for. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be here now. I don't understand why, but he's done everything he can for me."

Hudson had been standing in the doorway listening to them. At the last sentance, he stepped forward.

"I will do everything I can for the good of this submarine, Ensign. And if that means expending a little effort and money to keep a top of the line computer expert on board, then I will do it. Currently, I am eagerly awaiting my new communications system, which you promised to have finished for me in three days time."

Westphalen looked appalled at his plain speaking.

"Yes Sir. I'm sorry..."

"I don't want 'sorry", I want it completed a.s.a.p., do you understand?"

He swallowed. "Yes Sir, but..."

"No 'but's' either. Doctor, give him the painkiller, it's time for him to return to work, isn't it Ensign?"

Lucas nodded, overruled.

Kristin Westphalen's jaw dropped open a little. She could see this was a dynamic that was new to her, but it obviously worked between the two of them. If there was one thing Nathan Bridger had taught this boy, it was to obey his captain.


	13. Chapter 13

Once Lucas had taken the new painkiller, he was able to get back to work again. The communications system was soon up and running, and the new PAL's were considerably easier to wear and to use. He was able to resume his schedule of light duty and return to his exercises.

Kristin decided to stay on for a little while to keep an eye on his progress, and since she had begun to appreciate everything the captain had done for Lucas, and was therefore less hostile, Captain Hudson had no objection to her staying.

Within a few days the crew had a new assignment.

"There's a report of seismic activity that's threatening one of our colonies, a closed colony called Utopia."

Ford asked, "What do you mean, a closed colony?"

"They try to have as little contact with the outside world as possible. They are self sustaining, eschew all outside contact and consider themselves neutral in any political or territorial disputes."

"So why are we rescuing them?"

"Because, Mr. Piccolo, despite all that, they are UEO citizens and under our jurisdiction."

"Huh."

"Hudson allowed himself a smile. "Quite so. Mr. Wolenczak, what can you tell us about the area?"

He glanced at his notes. "They're right, it is unstable. It could collapse at any time."

"In which case, we need to do an immediate evacuation. Mr. Piccolo and Ms. Kimura, I'd like you to accompany the rescue launch and make sure there are no problems. Lieutentant Henderson, you will pilot the shuttle with..."

Lucas interrupted. "Sir, I should go."

They all turned surprised eyes on him.

"I can co-pilot the shuttle, it's just sitting! And you'll need someone on board tracking the danger, in case there's a disruption in communication."

They all looked reluctant.

"Please, Sir, I can do this."

Hudson studied him for a moment. He was right, he could do this, this was his job. It was about time they started trusting him to do these things again.

"Alright, Mr. Wolenczak. The four of you need to leave as soon as you're ready."

Commander Ford took him aside as the others filed out.

"Is this a good idea?"

"He has to get back to work sooner or later. He's right, he can do this." He hoped to God he was right.

* * *

Lucas was beaming as he sat behind the controls of the launch. He folded away his chair, and shoved it into a space near the console. Henderson beside him looked worried.

"Lonnie, I can do this!"

"I know, it's just...well..."

"If I'm going to stay on the SeaQuest, then I have to work." He grinned at her. "I'll tell you what - if anything dangerous happens, I'll let you handle it."

She laughed, and they set off, with Tony and Kimura acting as satellite.

"Hey, Kid, how's it feel to be doing this again?"

"Feels great, Tony."

"I believe UEO regulations state that all communication should be kept to a minimum."

"We're helping UEO citizens, not targeting enemy agents, Kimura. I was just checking on my buddy."

"The regulations are very clear on this point, regardless of whether or not we're dealing with friendly or hostile situations."

"Should I mention that this conversation has been longer than the one you were objecting to in the first place?" Lucas pointed out. Henderson giggled.

"Kimura out."

"Okay, it's looks like it's safe for us to go in."

"Okay, Lonnie, Kim and me will go in first, you guys can wait in the launch until we see what's going on."

"Understood, Tony." And then, with a grin, "Henderson out."

* * *

Tony and Kim found pandemonium inside the colony.

"Everybody calm down, who's in charge here?"

A few people pointed them towards an office where a disorganized group seemed to be grabbing papers and grabbing computer disks.

"Hey, you guys call for a rescue?"

"Yes! You're from SeaQuest?"

"Yeah, can we get some organization here?"

"Of course! Are you ready to take us now?"

"I'm guessing we'll have to make a few different trips, have you sorted the groups?"

"Yes, the first group will be the youngest children and their families, I'll get them ready."

They felt a sudden shift beneath their feet.

"Might want to hurry that up." He turned away and spoke into his PAL, "Luke, what was that, we okay in here?"

"You're fine for the moment, but I wouldn't recommend hanging around."

"Got that, Luke."

"Oh, and Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't call me Luke!"

* * *

By the time they returned for the final group, the tremors were increasing, and Lucas was warning them all about the need for speed.

Tony watched as the last people lined up to board. His jaw dropped open.

"Captain Bridger? What are you doing here?"

"Tony! Good to see you! Michael and I have been living here. I sent him ahead on the first trip."

He couldn't understand Tony's look. It wasn't just surprise, there was something else there.

"Anything wrong?"

Tony realized that Bridger had to board, there wasn't going to be time to warn either him or Lucas. At that moment, Lonnie's voice came over the PAL.

"Tony? Lucas says we need to get out of here a.s.a.p.! Is everybody ready?"

"Um...yeah sure, just a second." He watched Bridger walk on board. "Okay, everyone's on board."

Lucas came on the line. "Don't hang around there Tony, it's time to get out."

"Understood, we're leaving now!"

Tony and Kimura ran to their ships, and they left. Tony couldn't help but wonder what kind of seismic shift would be happening on the launch when Lucas and Captain Bridger met.

* * *

As soon as they got the all clear from Tony, they set off. Their heads were down and they were concentrating on piloting the craft when a couple of people came to sit behind them.

"Hello Lucas, Lonnie!"

Lucas froze. Lonnie turned with a horrified look on her face. Bridger interpreted it as concern.

"Captain Bridger?"

"How are you Lonnie?"

"Um...I'm good...thanks. How are you?"

"I'm well, thanks. Lucas, it's good to see you again."

Lucas continued to look straight ahead as he piloted the craft. In the poor lighting of the launch, Bridger could only see his profile and his blond hair.

"Captain. It's been a while." He couldn't help the coldness in his voice. "What were you doing down there?"

"I found the colony some months ago. It seemed like a good place to raise Michael away from all of the..." He searched for the right word, "discord."

"Huh." After all that time, it was all he could think of to say.

"This is a friend of mine, Stephanie West, this is Lonnie Henderson and Lucas Wolenczak. We used to serve together on the SeaQuest."

"Pleased to meet you!"

Lonnie turned and smiled briefly, while Lucas simply said, "Likewise."

"Nathan's told me so much about SeaQuest, it sounds like it used to be a beautiful boat."

Lucas bristled. "It's still a beautiful boat."

"But now it's designed for war and destruction. It was better when it was built for science and exploration."

"It's designed to prevent war and destruction." Lucas spoke through gritted teeth.

"The military always say that."

Lucas and Lonnie looked at each other. Stephanie was probably about twenty-five, and spoke with an infuriating air of authority. Lonnie disliked her immensely. "Well, it's lucky for you this military boat of war and destruction was here to save you all, wasn't it?"

Bridger intervened. "We have a different philosophy within our colony. We believe in maintaining peace at all costs. It's a good way to live. We don't believe in the need for a military presence."

"Sure, until you need to be rescued. You don't seem to mind our military presence right now."

"Lucas, you're being obtuse. The military frequently creates more problems than solutions. The UEO doesn't have all the answers."

"You came to that revelation a little late in life. How many years did you serve, _Captain_ Bridger?"

"At least I realized eventually. This colony believes that peace is the only way to live, and I agree with them. I'm sorry Lucas, but you have no idea of the kind of suffering the military can cause, lives are ruined everyday!"

"Did you know that Brody was killed, saving Lonnie when she was sentenced to death for rescuing some children? And Freddie was killed in a conflict with the Choadai. I think we might know a bit about lives being ruined."

Lonnie waited for him to say something about himself, but he didn't.

"I'm sorry about that. I didn't know Freddie very well, but Brody was a good man. He deserved something better."

"So, do you think he should've let Lonnie be executed? Or perhaps Lonnie shouldn't have rescued the children? Which is it?"

"What I'm saying Lucas, is that it's rarely black and white. Perhaps there was a better way to negotiate."

"Sometimes you don't have time to negotiate. The children couldn't stay where they were until she went through the proper channels."

Lonnie was angry, but trying to hold on to her temper. "Perhaps we should change the subject."

Stephanie couldn't seem to leave it alone. "See, you just said it, you didn't even try to negotiate first! Nathan is right, if you are truly committed to peace you will always try to open the lines of communication first. Whereas, the military always chooses the violent option first."

Bridger could feel the atmosphere, and tried to quiet her. "It's okay, Kiddo, let's leave it for now."

For a moment, Lucas thought Bridger was talking to him. Then he realized that he was talking to Stephanie.

Lonnie saw Lucas' knuckles go white when he heard the familiar nickname - _his_ nickname - applied so casually to someone else.

Almost without volition, he started to speak.

"A few months ago, we got reports that there was a chemical weapon being produced by the Macronesians and being released in UEO waters. It was destroying everything in it's path. They denied it, of course. We found and infiltrated the facility, and destroyed the compound. We also had to copy and destroy the databases so that they couldn't re-create it, but we could make an antidote. If we hadn't done that, all of the oceans would have been infected. Most of the life forms would have been wiped out. It destroyed reefs in the areas where it was used, and those areas still haven't recovered. Whole ecosystems disappeared. Should we have just ignored it?"

"You could have worked harder to produce an antidote."

"Lucas, we're just saying that there are often other options to pursue."

Lonnie was starting to feel very uncomfortable. "Can we please change the subject?"

"A crewmember almost died on that maneuver. The building collapsed on top of him, he may never walk again." Lucas' voice was steady as a rock and ice cold. "Are you saying that it was all for nothing, and he should just have let them spread the contaminant even farther?"

"I'm sure you're exaggerating. I'm sure the oceans would have recovered in time. And yes, I think they should have avoided military action. It was foolish to rush in like in like that."

Lonnie was now getting desperate. "Please stop talking!"

Bridger tried to intervene. "I'm sure he thought he was doing the right thing, but perhaps there were other ways of finding a solution to the problem, that's all we're saying."

"So you think he was a fool?"

Lonnie had to stop this conversation. "Lucas, stop this! Please!"

"Lucas, you're twisting our words."

Stephanie looked surprised. "He's not twisting mine. Yes, he was a fool."

"And you Captain? What do you think?"

"I think this conversation is a waste of time."

"It's a simple yes or no question. Was he a fool?"

"I'm just saying that there may have been other options."

"So, yes or no?"

Nathan was annoyed at being badgered. "Alright then, yes! He was a fool to sacrifice his future like that!"

Lonnie gasped in horror. Lucas said nothing.

With relief, Lonnie noticed their position. "We're here! Lucas, can you let the SeaQuest know we're getting ready to dock?"

At last they could stop this horrible conversation!


	14. Chapter 14

Captain Hudson and Commander Ford were supervising the new arrivals when Tony came running up to him.

"Something wrong, Mr. Piccolo?"

"Captain Bridger is on that shuttle!"

There was a moment of shock.

"Well, I guess now we know where he's been all these months."

They watched as the passengers came on board. Captain Bridger was accompanied by a pretty young woman that Hudson would place in her mid-twenties.

"Oliver, Jonathon, good to see you again!"

"Nathan."

"Captain Bridger, welcome aboard."

"This is a friend of mine, Stephanie West, we've been working together for the past few months."

At their inquiring looks, he elucidated, "we're just friends."

"He's been like a father to me," she said, looking at him with something bordering on adoration.

They exchanged a glance and hoped that Lucas hadn't witnessed that.

Dagwood approached them.

"Dagwood! How are you?"

"I'm good, thank you Captain Bridger, Sir. How are you?"

"I'm well, thank you Dagwood."

"I came to see if Lucas needed any help."

Captain Bridger looked surprised. "Why would Lucas need help?"

The others looked at him in surprise, as they realized that Lucas still hadn't told him about the accident.

Dagwood looked over at the docking bay and waved. "Hey Lucas!"

Bridger turned, and his world seemed to stop. Lucas was wheeling himself out of the docking bay in a wheelchair, Lonnie walking beside him with a face like thunder. In the full light, he could see the sharp angles of the boy's gaunt face and dark shadows under his eyes. He looked emaciated and sickly.

Sensing an atmosphere, Tony walked over to his friend. "Hey, Hotshot, how'd it go? All good?"

Lucas answered the unasked question. "Yeah, it's all good. Let's get out of here."

He shot a quick, angry glance at Bridger, and then left the room. Tony called back to Dagwood as they left.

Bridger found his voice as Lonnie walked up to the group.

"The crewmember he was talking about...it was Lucas?"

"Yes." There was a sharpness in her reply. "He was the fool."

There was an indrawn breath.

"I didn't mean...I didn't know...I wouldn't have..." Bridger didn't seem to be able to form a complete sentence.

Hudson looked at them both. "Lieutenant, I think you'd better tell us what happened."

When she finished speaking, there was a shocked silence.

"I didn't mean it like that." Bridger tried to explain. "I didn't know about this."

"I did try to contact you."

"The colony discourages outside contact, I haven't been getting any messages. How bad is it?"

"It's bad enough, although he's doing better now."

"Can you tell me about it?"

"I'm sorry Nathan, Commander Ford and I have to get back to work, obviously we have a lot to do right now. Doctor Westphalen is on board, perhaps she could fill you in."

Bridger looked at Lonnie in surprise. "Why is Kristin on board?"

Lonnie was still fuming, she never had been able to master her temper.

"Lucas needed stronger painkillers and she helped get them for him." And then, with emphasis, "he's been in a lot of pain."

"Could you take me to Doctor Westphalen please?" He turned to his companion. "I'll join you later, okay?"

Stephanie didn't look pleased, but agreed. She wondered who this 'Kristin' was, and why he seemed so affected by what happened to Lucas. She decided to ask around and find out their history.

* * *

Lonnie walked silently with Captain Bridger until they reached the med-bay, where Doctor Perry and Doctor Westphalen were deep in conversation. Kristin registered shock as Nathan walked in, whereas Doctor Perry's expression seemed closer to disapproval. As Kristin and Nathan greeted each other, Lonnie took Perry aside, and told her of the conversation in the launch.

Perry's face set into a hard expression, and she turned to one of her assistants. "I'm going to get coffee."

Kristen was surprised. "Where did everybody go?"

"I think they're all avoiding me."

"Why, what did you do?"

Bridger sat on one of the beds with a sigh, and rubbed his hand across his face. "It seems I told Lucas that he has no idea about suffering, and then called him a fool."

She looked horrified. "Oh, Nathan, whatever possessed you to do that?"

"I didn't know. We were talking about the colony, I was telling them about our desire for peace. The discussion got out of hand. Lucas started talking about a crewmember who was injured during a mission...I didn't know he was talking about himself. Lonnie kept asking us to stop talking...why didn't I listen to her?" He buried his face in his hands.

"Well, you'd better tell me all of it."

He repeated the whole conversation. She grimaced.

"Well, when you get an idea in your head, there really is no shaking you, is there? Even without knowing about Lucas, they were two members of the military rescuing you all from danger, you could have been a little more tactful."

"I know. Stephanie and I have these discussions all the time, I guess I just got carried away."

"Stephanie?"

"I've been working with her at the colony. And no, it's nothing like that. I've just been mentoring her, she doesn't get along well with her stepfather."

"Oh, Nathan, not again?"

"What?"

"How much of that did Lucas pick up on?"

He was puzzled. "I'm sorry, I have no idea what you mean?"

"Nathan, it wasn't that long ago that you and Lucas were like father and son. Then, as he sees it," she thought to herself, as everyone sees it, "you abandon him as soon as you find Michael. He's hurt, but he understands, because Michael is family. But then he sees you with Stephanie, behaving just the way you used to with him. What should he think? When was the last time you contacted him?"

Bridger looked guilty and defensive. "I sent him a card at Christmas."

"Which arrived late. Honestly, Nathan."

Realization washed over him. "Oh my God! It was when I called her Kiddo. That was why he started telling us the story."

She looked at him with a mixture of pity and disapproval.

"What happened Nathan? What went wrong between the two of you?"

He thought for a moment.

"It was different, after you left. It didn't seem so...it was different. There was more of a military presence, for a start. I had more to do, more people to manage. I started spending time with Wendy...," he looked embarrassed.

"That's okay. I haven't exactly taken holy orders, you know. I assumed we'd been seeing other people."

"Well, Lucas and I saw less of each other. He started hanging around with Tony and the others. We started to drift a little." He looked shamefaced. "Maybe it was just that I started to drift a little."

"And then there was the business with Hyperion. Terrible things happened there, and he was only eighteen. Eighteen! And it was my fault that he was there. When we got back, I could barely look at him, I felt so guilty. And I had Michael to take care of, so I thought I should just leave, I'd done enough damage. So I did. I thought that if I left, he could straighten things out with his parents and maybe go back to school, finish his doctorate. Make a different life for himself."

"And then I came back and I found out he'd enlisted. I was furious! All that potential...We parted on good terms, but like strangers. Then, when I came back again, it was to fix something I wasn't very proud of. I wasn't nice to him, I was ashamed. We exchanged words. I knew I'd disappointed him. The next couple of times he called, I pretended to be out. Then I heard about the colony, and Michael and I decided to try it out."

Kristen was surprised. "Michael's here? Where is he?"

"Oh, he has a nanny that looks after him, he's fine."

She looked stern.

"This is exactly what we've been talking about Nathan! Don't assume, go and check on Michael, right now! When you've finished, you can come to my quarters and I'll tell you about Lucas. But now, go and take care of your grandson!"


	15. Chapter 15

Bridger sat in Kristin's quarters for a long time after she told him everything that had happened to Lucas. She told him why he had joined up and why he had been so devastated when Bridger left. She also told him how old he really was. Nathan felt so guilty, so sick that he hadn't been there for him.

He had to go and see him.

* * *

After the shuttle had returned, Lucas, Tony and Dagwood were off duty. They made their way to the mess hall.

"Well, wanna tell us what happened?"

"Nothing happened."

"Oh yeah? That why you're moving your food around like you're playing chess or something? You're meant to be eating it, y'know."

Lucas pushed his plate away.

"Okay! We...argued, I guess."

"About?"

"His new philosophy. All military is bad, peace and harmony is the only solution."

"Couldn't be that much of a surprise. Look where we picked him up.

"No, I know."

Lonnie walked in, and ran up to the table. "Hey Lucas, you okay?"

"Keeps tellin' us he is."

"I'm so sorry he said all that, I'm sure he didn't mean it.

Tony looked interested. "Care to tell us what he didn't mean?"

Lonnie looked puzzled. "Well, I know he didn't mean that you were a fool for getting hurt!"

Tony's face darkened, and he glared at Lucas, who was looking down at his plate.

"Wanna tell us how that conversation went?"

Lonnie told the whole story. Tony looked furious and Lucas' face flamed red with embarrassment.

"He didn't mean it," Lonnie explained.

Lucas threw down his fork. "No, he meant it. He wouldn't have said it, if he had known, but he meant every word." And then, almost to himself, "including 'Kiddo.' I'm tired, I'm going to our room."

"Dammit! Dagwood, could you grab a sandwich or something for Lucas when you're done?"

"Sure, Tony."

* * *

Lucas was lying on the bed when he walked in.

"The guy's an ass."

Lucas made a sound that could have been a sob or a laugh.

Tony sat down on his bed.

"It's just...I thought I was special. He made me feel that I was important, at least to him. And now I see that he does this with everyone. He replaced Robert with me, me with Michael, Michael with Stephanie and calls us all 'kiddo'. Probably so he doesn't have to remember our names. He's right about one thing. I do feel like a fool."

"You aren't a fool. You were fourteen when you first met him. He was like a father to you, everyone says that. Even when I got here I could tell you idolized him."

"Yeah, he did treat me like a father. Like my father. He liked me for a while and then dumped me when something better came along. You'd think I'd have been prepared for it."

"Lucas, you were just a kid. Sure, a genius kid, but still a kid. You couldn't have known how it would turn out."

"I guess not."

"And just for the record, that mission you were on wasn't foolish, and neither was saving Captain Hudson's life. Pretty sure he'd agree with me on that one."

There was a knock at the door, and Captain Bridger walked into the room. He could feel the temperature drop as two icy glares turned his way.

"Hi." He turned to Tony. "Can I have a moment alone with Lucas?"

Tony turned a raised eyebrow towards his friend.

"No, Tony can stay. Anything you want to say can be said in front of him."

He cast a quick look towards Tony as he spoke, checking that was okay. He felt too vulnerable to be left alone with the captain right now. Tony glared at Bridger and climbed on top of his bunk to give the illusion of privacy.

"I came to say I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I said."

"You meant it, didn't you?"

Bridger paused, and then admitted, "no, not really. I got carried away by the argument."

"Stephanie and I," he saw Lucas stiffen, "we have these discussions all the time. I sometimes forget that real life is different, that hypothetical solutions don't often work so well in the real world. In your place, I would have reached the same conclusion, and gone on the mission. I'd like to think that I would have done what you did, and saved my captain's life. You missed out that part of the story, by the way."

Lucas blushed. Tony grumbled from his bunk, "Kid's a damn hero!"

"You'll get no argument from me. I'm very proud of you Lucas, I always have been."

He felt Lucas soften at the words, and he smiled. "Are we okay, Kiddo?"

He knew, the minute the word was out of his mouth, that it was the last thing he should have said at that moment. Kiddo. What he had always affectionately called him. What he now called Stephanie.

Lucas smiled at him with an artificial smile that tried and failed to conceal all the hurt he felt.

"Yeah, sure," he said, "we're good."

And Nathan Bridger knew that once again, he had lost him.

* * *

When the rescued colonists were returned safely to dry land, Bridger decided to stay on the SeaQuest for a little longer. He still hoped to recover some ground with Lucas and was enjoying his renewed acquaintance with Kristin. Stephanie stayed on board with him, under the guise of taking care of Michael.

With the painkiller working and the treatments being administered regularly, Lucas was finally starting to make progress with his physical therapy. He was now doing exercises every day, mainly with Dagwood, and frequently with Commander Ford or Lonnie Henderson. Even Tim, true to his word, helped him work on exercises in the moonpool with Darwin, and it would have been hard to say whether Darwin or Lucas enjoyed it more.

Lucas had been steadily regaining more feeling in his legs, and while some of that was pain and discomfort, he was starting to feel that he was making some progress in his recovery.

In his right leg, he still felt very little, and it could bear no weight at all. But in his left, he was starting to regain some sensation and could occasionally put weight on it, and though he still experienced a degree of pain in his back - many of the nerves had been badly damaged - he was finding that he could sit and move for longer without pain. There were still bad days when he overdid things but he was starting to realize his limits and know when he had to stop.

A few days after they had divested themselves of the Utopia colony, he was exercising with Commander Ford. He had just finished pulling himself along the bars, each time trying to put more weight on his leg. At the end, he reached out for the commander as he always did, waiting for his supporting arm as he turned.

On this occasion, just as he reached out, Lonnie appeared at the door and the commander turned to smile at her. Lucas didn't realize what was happening, until he heard Dagwood shout, "Lucas, you're standing!"

And he realized that he was.

Leaning a little, for he could still put no weight on his right leg, but definitely standing. He froze for a moment in shock, a grin starting to appear on his face. Within a few seconds, he felt himself starting to fall, and he turned and grabbed the bars quickly, but it had been enough.

Lonnie laughed, and ran over to hug him, which almost toppled him, since he was still holding onto the bars, and Jonathon and Dagwood had huge smiles. He was shaking from the shock and the effort, but he promised himself that he would reach the end of the bars before he returned to his chair.

Lonnie, bursting with excitement, grabbed the handles of his chair. "Come on, let's go tell everybody!"

She flew down the hall, with Lucas laughing and Jonathon and Dagwood following behind.

Knowing Tony's schedule, she went straight to the mess hall where he was eating with Tim. To her delight, Doctor Perry was sitting nearby with Westphalen, Bridger, Michael and Stephanie.

She pushed him in, and shouted, "He was standing, all by himself!"

Tony threw down his sandwich and whooped, and he and Tim ran over to congratulate him. Perry and Westphalen joined them, and he was smothered by hugs.

Ford saw the look on Bridger's face and quickly went to his side.

"Sir, this is a big deal for him. You should be happy for him."

Bridger nodded. "I know. It's just...he's only eighteen years old. We shouldn't all be this excited because he stood unaided for a few seconds. He deserved better."

"Captain, he hasn't been able to stand on his own for months now. This is the first step to maybe getting out of that chair occasionally. Sure he deserves better, but it could have been a hell of a lot worse, and this is the first real achievement he's had." And then, with insight, "he doesn't need your guilt right now, he needs your support."

As if on cue, the crowd around him parted for a moment and Lucas looked over at them.

Bridger moved forward with his arms outstretched. "Lucas, I'm so proud of you!"

Ford was right, Lucas looked happier than Bridger had seen him since they returned. Tears pricked the captain's eyes, and he blinked them back. As Lucas turned back to his friends, Kristin came over to him, and he saw the same mixed emotions on her face. She took his arm and they moved away.

"It seems wrong. He deserves so much more than this."

"I know. It's because we haven't seen it from the beginning. For them, it's a positive step - literally! For us, it's a shock, because we still remember him running around the corridors and playing with Darwin."

"I just keep looking at him and thinking, 'seventeen. He was seventeen when this happened.' He should be going out with girls and playing volleyball on the beach, and here we are celebrating...standing."

"I know. But it's more than he might have had."

Nathan nodded. She was right. This wasn't about their guilt and regrets, it wasn't about them at all. This was about Lucas, and they could be happy about anything that would make his life better.


	16. Chapter 16

A few days later the senior officers were called to the wardroom.

"We have an assignment. We have a section seven operative that needs extraction from Macronesian territory. He has information vital to the war effort, and his safety is paramount."

"Where is he?"

"All we know is that he will be at this location," Hudson pointed to the map, 'tomorrow at 15.00 hours."

"That's across enemy lines, we'll be spotted instantly."

"Unless we create a diversion," said Ford, thoughtfully.

Hudson looked interested. "What were you thinking, Commander?"

"If we took the SeaQuest to this point," he marked a position on the map, "we could create a diversion, maybe fire a few weapons, while a small sub could slip in and pick him up. They may not notice."

Lonnie interrupted. "They'd still be able to detect the sub."

This time Lucas spoke. "We could get past them. If we could scramble their sensors, maybe throw out a different signal, they might suspect something, but they wouldn't be able to track it."

"Could you do that?"

"Yes, but I'd have to be on board."

There was a pause. Even though he had recently piloted a vessel, they still felt concerned about sending him on a mission.

Hudson realized that despite his crew's reluctance, this was Wolenczak's specialty. To not use him would be a waste and endanger the success of the operation.

"Very well. Wolenczak and..." he looked around the table, "Kimura. Make your preparations. Dismiss."

They all dispersed slowly and reluctantly. Commander Ford waited behind.

"Captain, are you sure about sending Kimura?"

Hudson could tell that it wasn't really Kimura that was bothering his commander.

"Kimura is the strongest pilot and the best fighter. She's also the least likely to be fussing over Ensign Wolenczak, which will allow him to do his job. And I believe he is the only person with the skills we need, which is why he's on this boat. Any other comments, Commander?"

"No Sir."

"Then let's get to work."

* * *

Lucas and Kimura prepared for the mission, with a great deal of unnecessary advice and double checking from other crewmembers. Kimura was surprised to find that they worked well together. She disliked emotional displays, and with all that she had heard of Lucas' health and emotional outbursts, she had been sure that she would find his company wearisome. She was pleased to find that with the task at hand he was focused and logical. The only time she saw emotion was when he realized that Dagwood would have to help him on and off the sub. He was clearly embarrassed, but resigned when he realized there was no other way to get him on board. She could sympathize with him about that, she would have hated it too.

Like the others, Tony had been worried about Lucas going on the mission, but he realized that Lucas needed to be able to work while he was on the SeaQuest, and seeing how excited he was to be doing something again made it all worthwhile.

* * *

Right before they were due to leave, Lonnie headed down for one last check of the sub. As she approached the docking bay, she was surprised to see Stephanie outside.

"Lonnie! I'm so glad you're here! I got lost, can you show me how to get back to the mess hall?"

"Can it wait? I just wanted to run one last check before they go."

"Didn't you say you'd already done that?"

"Yesss...but I thought, it wouldn't hurt to do one last check..."

"Please Lonnie! I'm sure nothing's changed since you last looked, and I'm sure I heard Ford, O"Neill and Piccolo say they checked it too! I promised Nathan I'd meet him, and I'm already late..."

Lonnie gave in. Stephanie was right, she had run a thorough check just a couple of hours ago. It would be fine.

* * *

The sub was launched, and the SeaQuest set off in the opposite direction to create a diversion.

Lucas immediately began to type. He was surprisingly quiet to work with, if it wasn't for the clicking of his steady typing she might have forgotten he was there.

"Is it working?" she checked.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah...no problem. Just need to keep adjusting the frequency."

They reached their position and waited. Within minutes, their contact arrived. As he climbed on board, he confirmed, "SeaQuest?"

Lucas looked up, "Were you expecting anyone else? I'm Ensign Lucas Wolenczak, and this is Lieutenant Commander Kimura, our best pilot."

Kimura looked a little surprised by the praise. She had thought that Lucas would not be so generous, being a close friend of Tim O"Neill's.

"Pleased to see you. I'm John Reynolds."

They left as soon as he was on board. They made good time, and were only a short distance away from the border when there was a sound of an explosion and the control panel erupted in a mass of flames. Kimura and Lucas pulled away quickly, and Reynolds pulled an extinguisher from the wall to douse the flames.

They looked at each other in horror as the power died and the launch started to lose power. Lucas quickly returned to the computer, and typed in a few commands.

"There's a cavern over there, can we make it?"

Kimura looked at the co-ordinates. "It's not far, we can try."

Using what little power they had left, they maneuvered the vessel into the cavern. It had a large rock ledge and the water level was low. They climbed out, Lucas pulling himself up the ladder, and they gulped at the air. Reynolds was the first to speak.

"What the hell happened?"

Kimura climbed back inside. Within minutes, she came back out, holding something.

"There was an explosive in the console, looks like it was set with a timer."

Lucas reached out for it and examined it.

"It wasn't a huge amount of explosive, there may be systems we can re-route. We may be able to get some things back on line. How's the air in there?"

"We can probably work in there if we keep the hatch open. It might get a little airless, but we can always step outside."

Reynolds pointed to the rocks. "For now. It looks a though this place fills with water pretty quickly."

Kimura frowned. "Then we should start now."

Lucas cleared his throat and looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Mr. Reynolds, but you're going to have to help me get back inside."

Reynolds gave him a quizzical look. "Why?"

This time, Kimura spoke up for him. "He can't walk, he won't be able to get down the steps."

At Reynolds astonished glance, she added, "he's the best computer operator the UEO has." She had heard that, but didn't know if it were true or not. It didn't really matter anyway.

Looking at Lucas' beet red face, Reynolds didn't say anymore. He walked over to Lucas.

"How do we do this?"

Glad to be simply discussing the practicalities, he replied. "I have some movement in my left leg, and I can hold my weight with my arms, I just need some support on my right side."

"Okay." He reached out and pulled the boy up. He was surprised by how light the boy was. He hadn't really looked at him before, he hadn't even noticed how young he was.

"How old are you, anyway?"

"Is it important?"

Reynolds sat Lucas at the hatch, and then climbed down. Lucas pushed himself into position, and then, with his hands gripping so tightly that his knuckles were white, he tried to place his left foot on the step. He grunted at the effort and the stab of pain from the jarring movement.

Reynolds placed his hands on Lucas' side to support him, and they got him down to the floor. He was white and trembling with the exertion.

He wiped his face. "Okay, let's see."

He reached into a gap, pulled out an emergency tool box, and proceeded to pull off the control panel. Kimura came to see what was happening. It started to become very close.

"Okay, we can fix this, but we can't all be down here, there's not enough air. Why don't you two go outside for a while and let me work?"

"Will you need help to get out?"

"No, pulling myself up the ladder is easier, it's just coming down that's tricky. I'll be fine now, thanks."

He worked for just over an hour, every now and then using a breather for air. He had considered the options of saving the breathers for extra oxygen, but decided that the benefits of repairing the pod quickly outweighed everything.

He pulled himself out, and Reynolds moved over to help him.

"Thanks." He lay for a few minutes and took in a few lungfuls of air.

"Okay, I've left a pile of stuff on the floor in there. If you and Kimura could clear that out and remove the chairs, that would be great."

They nodded and set to work. The pile consisted of panel covers, wetsuits, tools - everything that added weight but wasn't essential to the running of the craft. As they worked, they noticed that the water level was rising steadily higher.

"Okay, we're done. We should get out of here soon," said Reynolds.

Lucas nodded. "Let's change into the wetsuits, and I'll tell you the plan."

They each grabbed a wetsuit and started to change. Lucas tried to cover his injury, but it was impossible not to see some of it. The others pretended not to notice.

"We lost a lot of our systems and life support is minimal. We have four breathers, but they also seem to have been sabotaged. I've managed to stop the remaining air from escaping, but that still means we're short. We also don't have enough fuel to carry us all."

Kimura looked annoyed. "Then why have we been doing all of this?"

"There's enough fuel to get two of us most of the way. Even with everything we've done, we won't have enough to reach the SeaQuest. We'll have to use the remaining air in the breathers and swim the rest of the way. You'll need to swim as fast as you can once you leave the pod, or only one person will have enough air to reach the SeaQuest. The second person still might run short just before. If that happens, the person with air will have to hold on to the other and get that person on board while there's still time. It's mathematically possible."

Kimura volunteered, "the Chaodai can hold their breath for long periods of time. It's part of our training."

Lucas nodded, "good, that makes it easier."

Reynolds spoke up. "Wait, you've only mentioned two people."

"We don't have enough fuel or oxygen for three people. It's not possible."

There was a stunned silence, which Kimura broke. "So who's staying behind?"

"I would have thought it was obvious. It has to be me. I'm not fit enough to be able to swim any kind of a distance, and I wouldn't be able to hold my breath. I have no chance."

It was funny, he thought, that this was the second time this situation had come up for him. Maybe fate just wanted him to die in a watery cavern somewhere.

"Hopefully, you two can return and get help for me before the cavern fills with water."

They couldn't think of anything to say.

Reynolds spoke again. "It feels wrong."

Kimura agreed, but she couldn't argue with Lucas' logic.

"I can barely swim anymore, and I've only recently recovered from bronchitis. There's no way I could make it, even if I did try. You two are the only chance I have, and if that's going to be any kind of a chance, then you need to go now. Every minute the water rises, my chances diminish."

In truth, he didn't think his odds were good, but there was no point delaying. They could argue for a week, and still reach the same conclusion.

They knew it as well.

Kimura reached out to shake his hand. Looking into his eyes, she promised, "we will come back for you in time."

Reynolds asked, "do you need anything before we go?"

Lucas pointed to a jutting piece of rock above him.

"Do you think you could help me get up there?" After everything he'd been through, he was going to try to hold out for as long as he could.

Reynolds looked up. "Do you mind if I carry you?"

Again Lucas blushed, but nodded. "Okay, here goes." He threw Lucas over his shoulder in a fireman's lift and climbed up to the rocky precipice. Setting him down, he asked, "anything else?"

"No. Thank you. You need to go now."

Reynolds looked uncomfortable, and then turned and left. Kimura raised her hand in a small wave.

Within minutes, they were gone and he was alone.


	17. Chapter 17

Exactly as Lucas had predicted, the craft lost all power just over three quarters of the way to the SeaQuest.

Reynolds took the breather with the most air, since Kimura could hold her breath for longer. They swam as fast as they could, but as they came within sight of the boat, Kimura found herself without oxygen. She flailed out for a moment in panic, her hand grabbing Reynolds in an involuntary response, until she calmed herself. He held on to her hand, and pulled her along as he tried to increase his speed. She pointed to the aquatube that would lead to the moonpool, and then felt her world go dark.

* * *

The SeaQuest had picked up the swimmers on their scans, and had a team waiting for them. They were surprised when a stranger emerged pulling Kimura behind him, but quickly set about reviving her.

She recovered, and pulled herself away as they tried to administer further tests.

She looked up and saw Captain Hudson and Tony. Security held Reynolds, who was trying to regain his breath.

Hudson knelt beside her. "What happened? Where's Lucas and the sub?'

She gasped, "no time, Lucas needs to be rescued.'

"Where is he?"

"He's in a cavern just behind the border. The water's rising, he needs help."

Tony rushed to a locker and pulled out a wetsuit. "Captain, permission to go and get Lucas?"

"Granted. Kimura, where is he?"

She gave them the coordinates.

"Tony, take the Stinger. It's faster, and small enough that they might not see you. I'll send Darwin to help you find him. Radio silence. I'll have a med team standing by a docking bay one. Go!"

"Yes, Sir!"

He ran.

* * *

Lucas was cold, and the water was rising around him. He had no sense of how long they'd been gone, it felt like forever. Once again, he felt that familiar feeling of abandonment, but this time he refused to give in to it. For once in his life, he was going to have faith. Faith in his friends, in his captain, and in the SeaQuest. He had friends, great friends, and if they could rescue him they would. For once, he would believe in them.

The water lapped higher, covering his ankles as they dangled over the edge. He pulled himself back. It seemed to be rising faster now. He thought of the fun he'd had at Christmas, the joy of being back at work on the SeaQuest, everyone playing poker in their room. He thought of Darwin.

The water was up to his chin, and he was no longer secure on his ledge. He moved his arms in a swimming motion, and tried to push with his legs. It could have been worse, he was still getting some movement with his left leg, although it was becoming harder to tread water. He felt himself slip below the water, but managed to recover. Shaken, he tried harder to pull himself up, but the force of the water was pulling him down. His head slipped below again. Frantically, he tried to pull himself to the surface, but couldn't find the strength. He panicked as his body fell lower into the cold water. As he started to lose oxygen, he thought he saw a dolphin coming towards him.

* * *

Tony reached the co-ordinates only to find a cavern mostly filled with water. He searched frantically around. He saw Darwin coming towards him with what looked like a body, and his heart stood still.

"Oh no, no, no!"

He pulled the Stinger to the uppermost point in the cavern, where there was still a little shelf of rock that wasn't underwater. Rushing outside, he met Darwin and pulled Lucas' body onto the shelf. They had all been trained in emergency first aid, and he turned Lucas onto his back and proceeded to administer CPR.

After what felt like forever, Lucas began to cough.

"Thank you God, thank you!"

The water was to their feet even here now, so Tony lifted Lucas and got them both into the Stinger. He knew that he needed to get back as quickly as possible.

* * *

Lucas drifted back slowly. He thought he remembered coughing, and then the next thing he became aware of was lying on the floor. He looked around.

"Tony?"

"Yeah, Buddy! How you doing?"

"I thought I saw Darwin..."

"Yeah, he found you."

"I was drowning..."

"Yeah, we got here in the nick of time. Had to give you CPR."

"Huh."

"You okay?"

He thought a moment. "Yeah." And then qualified, "Cold."

"Trying to get you back as soon as I can, we'll get you warmed up then, okay."

"'Kay." He closed his eyes.

"Lucas? You okay?"

"'M tired, jus' gonna sleep...I was dreaming about Darwin..."

"Lucas?"

With his focus on getting back to the SeaQuest, there was nothing he could do, but he was worried. Lucas' responses weren't right, and his voice was slurring. He had a feeling that Lucas shouldn't be sleeping right now. He reached around with one hand and gently shook his friend.

"Lucas, wake up! C'mon, you're safe now, stay awake, okay?"

"Where are we going?"

Tony wasn't sure what was going on. "Lucas, we're going back to SeaQuest."

"See my friends..."

"Yeah."

Tony brought the Stinger into the docking bay. "Okay, we're here. C'mon, time to go."

"Too hot..."

Tony looked around and saw Lucas pulling off the top of his wetsuit.

He bent down and zipped the suit back up, "I thought you were cold anyway!"

He lifted his friend, and saw Dagwood making his way towards them. "Great, Dagwood, can you get him?"

Dagwood lifted him up and carried him out of the Stinger, Tony hurrying after them. The med team was waiting for them on the dock. Perry stepped forward as Dagwood laid Lucas on the gurney.

He stared at her with bleary eyes.

"Lucas?"

"He's been really weird, he's not making any sense. Said he was cold, and then said he was too hot and started taking off his wetsuit."

"Damn!"

He looked at her in surprise as she pulled out a thermometer. Kristin Westphalen rushed over to them.

"I just heard, how is he?"

Perry removed the thermometer, glanced at it and handed it to Westphalen.

"He's hypothermic."

They leapt into action. Kristin stripped him down while Perry wrapped him in towels.

"Lets get him to med bay."

Once there, Kristin replaced the towels with blankets and covered him with a warming blanket.

Perry placed an oxygen mask over his mouth and hooked him up to an EKG.

Tony and Dagwood hovered around looking nervous.

"He gonna be okay?"

The doctors looked at each other.

"He should be, it's only moderate, but we need to monitor his breathing and his heart rate."

"But?" There was something they weren't saying.

"The odds of him developing pneumonia are pretty high."

"But...it wasn't that cold. Reynolds and Kimura are fine." He realized that he hadn't actually asked about them. "Aren't they?"

"Yes, they are. But his injury and the medications cause changes in body temperature - you know how frequently he's cold these days? And that, coupled with his diminished immune system makes him more vulnerable to problems like this."

"So, what happens now?"

"We watch him, and we wait."

Reynolds and Kimura recovered quickly from their part of the adventure, and Reynolds took a sub to return to his Section Seven unit. Once he was underway, another issue had to be addressed.

Who had placed the explosive and why?

* * *

They examined the device. It was small enough that it would have been hard to detect, but contained enough destructive power to cripple a vessel of that size. The device was made with great skill, although there was a fault in the programming. The device had been meant to go off an hour before, which would have stranded them in the heart of enemy territory. It nearly cost the three of them their lives.

Hudson was furious. That something like this should happen on his boat!

He held a meeting with Commander Ford, Lieutenant Tim O'Neill and Lieutenant Lonnie Henderson. Tim pulled up the security footage and they watched as crewmember after crewmember checked on the vessel. So many people checked on the pod that they were starting to think there would be no chance of trying to discover the culprit.

And then, Stephanie West walked into the docking bay, looked quickly around, pulled a small device out of her pocket and climbed into the sub.

They stared at her image in shock.

Lonnie was horrified. "I met her! I was going to check on the pod one last time, and I met her just outside. She said she was lost, and asked me to take her to the mess hall! I decided not to run one more check, and took her to the mess instead! I could have stopped this!"

Commander Ford looked at her with sympathy. "You'd never have seen it, it was too small and well hidden."

"But I would have noticed the breathers had been tampered with."

It was unanswerable.

Hudson spoke. "Commander, would you call security? I think we need to get her in the brig before she does any more damage, and we need to find out who she's working for."


	18. Chapter 18

Nathan, Stephanie and Michael were eating together in her quarters when the security team found them. Nathan looked up in surprise. He and Stephanie had been discussing their latest research all afternoon, and he hadn't heard anything about the accident.

"Oliver?"

"Sorry to disturb you Nathan, our business is with your guest."

The security officers moved forward, pulled her up from her seat and placed her in handcuffs.

"What is this about?" Bridger was shocked.

"It seems your associate here placed an explosive device on the rescue pod that was used this morning. We nearly lost three crew members."

"You must have the wrong person!"

"She was captured on the security footage, I'm guessing she didn't know we had cameras down there."

Bridger couldn't believe it. He felt sick. "What happened?"

"Luckily, the timer was set incorrectly. It didn't go off until they were close to the border. Lucas was able to reconfigure the pod to return most of the way with two of them, and then they had to swim the remainder of the way. She'd also tampered with the breathers, so Kimura ran out shortly before returning. The section seven operative we were rescuing was able to bring her the rest of the way in time. She's okay now."

Bridger realized what he'd said, and with a sick feeling in his stomach asked, "and Lucas? You said it returned with two of them. What about Lucas?"

"Lucas found a cavern where they could repair the pod. He had to wait there until we could collect him. Tony took the Stinger and returned with him about twenty minutes ago."

Bridger found it hard to speak.

"Is he okay?"

Hudson's mouth tightened.

"He almost drowned. Tony had to administer CPR, a minute or two longer and we would have lost him. Currently, he's hypothermic, they're treating him now."

Bridger stared at Stephanie in horror.

"Did you do this? Why? Why would you do this?"

She glared at him.

"Because ever since we got on this boat, it's all about him! I'm sick of hearing about him! You've never even mentioned him before, and now you never stop! And he isn't even nice to you, he deserves to be dead, and I wish he was!"

"Miss West, there were two other people on that pod, you nearly killed them all."

"I don't care about the others, they're just military people anyway. Why would it matter?"

They were all disgusted by the callousness of her words.

"Take her to the brig. Get her out of my sight."

Bridger stood up. "I need to go and see Lucas."

Hudson nodded, and fell into step beside him.

"I had no idea."

"Evidently."

"I would never put Lucas in danger like that."

This was too much for Oliver Hudson.

"Captain Bridger, from the moment you consented to have a civilian boy on this boat, you put him in danger. You made this the only place he could think of as a home, and then you abandoned him. When I spoke to him after the accident, I asked him how to contact you. Everyone assumed you were still close. He was in a huge amount of pain, and drugged, but he said to me that I wouldn't be able to contact you, because 'you had so much more in your life now'."

He felt a jolt of satisfaction when he saw Bridger flinch as he recognized the phrase. Hearing it out of context, it sounded...cruel and dismissive.

"He followed you to hell and back. Things happened to him at seventeen that shouldn't happen to anyone, and still he ran to find you. And you just left him. And then you start it all over again with someone else. He should curse the day he met you, Nathan Bridger."

They'd arrived at the med-bay.

Hudson turned and walked inside. Nathan followed a little behind, Hudson's words stinging as he thought of them. He listened to Doctor Perry give her report. Hypothermia, monitoring breathing and heart rate, strong possibility of developing pnuemonia. He walked over to the bed and looked down at the boy.

He was so pale and thin. He tried to remember that young, enthusiastic boy he had met all those years ago and found hard to think of them as the same person. Tony and Dagwood sat beside his bed, Dagwood holding one of his hands. As Hudson explained what they had discovered, Tony's eyes turned accusingly towards the former captain. Even Perry and Kristin seemed to have judgement in their eyes. He fled.

* * *

Lucas woke again in the med-bay. He was shivering, despite and mound of blankets on top of him. He looked for his friends. Sure enough, there they were sitting by his bedside. He smiled, listening to them talking to each other. Tony seemed to be trying to explain a tricky football maneuver to Dagwood, when he looked up and caught Lucas' eye.

"Well, I'm glad you're awake. Maybe you can help me explain this."

Lucas ignored this. "I knew you'd come for me in time. I knew you would."

Tony stood up and squeezed his shoulder. "Every time Lucas. We'll always bring you back."

"Thanks." He squeezed Dagwood's hand. "You should go to bed, I'll be okay now. Gonna get some sleep." He closed his eyes again, and fell immediately back into a deep sleep.

Doctor Westphalen was standing near.

"He's right, he'll probably be out for hours now. Go and get some rest."

They stood up to leave, Dagwood leaning forward to straighten his sheets. On impulse, she stopped Tony and hugged him hard, and then did the same for Dagwood.

"He needed to trust someone. Thank you for looking after him. Thank you for taking care of him so well."

* * *

Captain Bridger returned later that night. He'd supposed that everyone but a skeleton crew would be sleeping, but Kristin was sitting beside Lucas' bed. She looked up as he approached.

"Hello, I wondered where you were."

"Did you hear what happened?"

"Yes...that was unfortunate."

"Unfortunate? She tried to kill three people."

Even at a moment like this, Kristin was a stickler for accuracy. "No, she _nearly_ killed three people. She _tried_ to kill only one of them."

"Lucas."

"Yes."

They watched him sleep.

"Will he be okay?"

"Doctor Perry is right. He'll almost certainly develop pneumonia after this. It's a common complication after hypothermia, and in his physical state...he's going to be very sick for a while. It's going to knock him back again, and that's going to make him feel worse. He was just starting to feel that he was getting better."

"Captain Hudson thinks that it's all my fault."

"Oh, how can it be? You couldn't know what she was planning!"

"Not just that. All of it. Lucas signing on just so he could stay on the boat. Lucas being on the boat in the first place. Hyperion. Me leaving him. He said I abandoned him."

She watched him. She didn't fill the silence, she just waited for him to speak again.

He looked at her shamefaced.

"I told you that I felt guilty after Hyperion. I didn't tell you that when we got back, I didn't try to find him. I saw him on the news, I knew he'd returned and was being held and I did nothing. He came to find me. We went back to the SeaQuest, but it wasn't the same. I couldn't stay, it was all wrong, I had to get away but...I didn't tell him. I couldn't. He heard about it for the first time when I told everyone. And I said...I said..."

"What did you say?"

"I said...that my life was filled with so much more now."

Despite herself, she sucked in her breath. "Oh, Nathan, how could you?"

"I didn't think about how it sounded, I didn't mean it like that."

"You must know how it sounds..."

"I do now. At the time, I thought...I thought, if I made it clear that I wouldn't be around any more, that he'd leave. That he'd get off the SeaQuest and do something else, maybe finish his doctorate, maybe get a job."

"But Nathan, everything he knew was ten years out of date!"

"I didn't think about that. I just wanted him out of danger once and for all. I thought his parents could find him something."

They paused for a moment. Kristin asked, "you know about his father?"

"No, what? Still unavailable?"

"Oh Nathan, you really have been living under a rock, haven't you? Lawrence Wolenczak was reported missing some years ago. Lucas found his body a few weeks before the accident."

"Oh, God!"

"And while we're on the subject, I should also mention that Cynthia Wolenczak had Lucas declared legally dead, and as far as she's concerned, he still is."

"I don't feel I can be very judgemental, it's not like I was any better."

"You may have made mistakes, but you do love him. Your mistakes were in trying to protect him, and not trusting him enough to talk to him."

"I made so many mistakes with Robert. I was so sure I wouldn't repeat them with Lucas, and then I make all new ones. How can I ever explain to him? How can I ever get him to forgive me?"

She looked towards the bed, and saw a flash of blue looking back at her.

"Maybe you just need to ask him?" She indicated towards Lucas.

Nathan jumped up, and removed his oxygen mask. "Lucas? Are you okay?"

He nodded. "Heard what you said."

"How much did you hear?"

"Most of it."

"I'm so sorry, Lucas...can you forgive me?"

He nodded again.

"I missed you. I thought you were tired of me. When I heard you call her 'Kiddo',...I..."

Kristin tutted. "Oh, you poor boy, Lucas! Nathan, honestly, you really do need someone to monitor you sometimes!"

He brushed the hair back from Lucas' face and felt the warmth of his forehead.

"You're right. Carol used to say I get carried away from one mad idea to the next unless there's someone there to ground me." He turned to Kristin. "Will you do it?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Kristin, if there's one thing I've come to realize, it's that I need someone to beside me when I don't know what to do. I'd like you to be that person. Kristin, will you marry me?"

Lucas and Kristin both gaped at him in shock.

"Nathan, if this is another instance of a mad idea..."

"No, I've been thinking you ever since we got back. I liked what we had together. I want that back."

"I'm ten years older now, Nathan."

"It doesn't matter to me. You're still the same, you haven't changed. I still love you. I think I've loved you since the day we met. I just...lost sight of that..." he looked at Lucas again and brushed his face with his hand, "of everything...for a little while. I need you to keep me steady, and I want you because I love you. Please?"

She gazed at his earnest face, and looked at Lucas.

"Well, if this is the only way to stop another mess like this one, I suppose I have to say yes!"

She smiled to take the sting out of her words, and he kissed her.


	19. Chapter 19

They talked for a while, the three of them. It was nice, but it wasn't like it used to be. Too much had happened between them. Lucas may have forgiven Captain Bridger for his faults, but he would never completely trust him again. He had forfeited that. Lucas had learned that Bridger could make mistakes too, and that he, Lucas, could be hurt by them. He had to protect himself, and to do that he had to keep his defenses up. He would always love him, just as he had always loved his father, but he would never believe in him again. That had been lost.

Nevertheless, they talked about the good things that had happened since they'd all been apart. Bridger had been enjoying raising Michael, although the words 'sitter' and 'nanny' came up so often that Lucas started to wonder if his affection for Bridger hadn't partly stemmed from the fact that he reminded him a little of his father.

His father had loved him, he didn't doubt that. He had just wanted to be told that a little more often, and to see him occasionally. He had been too easily distracted by other things. Just as Bridger had been when the second SeaQuest was being built. And now he realized that Michael was being raised by Bridger the same way he had been raised by his parents. At least now he would have Doctor Westphalen.

He watched the two of them talk, and thought of how often he had dreamed that they would marry and he would be included in their family circle. Now they were getting married, but things had changed so much. HE had changed so much.

And perhaps Captain Bridger hadn't changed that much at all, in that he was constantly changing. He had been different before Robert's death, Lucas knew that after the incident with the war maneuvers. Then he had run away to the island. And then he had changed again for the SeaQuest, when he had left the seclusion of the island and made a family of sorts for himself on board. And he had been prepared to throw all of that away and run away again when the incident of the whaling ships had come up. Lucas should have been warned then by how easily Bridger had left them all. He had changed again, become more focused, more professional when building the second SeaQuest.

And he was different after Hyperion, as they all were. When Lucas had seen him after that, he had seemed like a stranger.

His only constant had been his inconstancy.

And Lucas as well was different now. Just when he had given up on ever being included as part of a family, he had found acceptance with Tony's family, who had liked him and wanted him, even when he had nothing to offer them. And in Tony and Dagwood, he had found what he had been looking for. Not a father, but brothers.

He'd lost the thread of the conversation - Bridger was explaining about the colony, and Kristin was nodding as she listened to him, and occasionally disagreeing with him. His head was heavy and he felt himself drifting, and he imagined himself back at Angie's house at Christmas time.

He smiled as he drifted into sleep.

* * *

They were right about the pneumonia. For the next few days he once again battled a high fever, and on the rare occasions that he was conscious, he didn't seem aware of any of them. Doctors Perry and Westphalen worked around to the clock to try to keep his temperature down.

On the morning of the fourth day, he woke to find Doctor Perry standing over him, checking his temperature. He felt fuzzy and confused.

"Good morning, Lucas. How are you feeling?"

"Tired..." He looked around him. "Why am I here?"

"You have pneumonia. Do you remember the explosion in the pod?"

He looked nonplussed and shook his head.

"The cavern? Tony rescuing you in the Stinger?"

He continued to look blank.

"Okay, don't worry. You still have a high fever, and you've been out of it for a few days, you're on quite a bit of medication."

She could see he wasn't following any of this.

"Where's Tony? Can I see him? Want to back to our room..."

His eyes searched the room. "Dagwood!"

Dagwood walked over and took his hand. "Hello Lucas, are you feeling better?"

"Dagwood, I want to go to our room, I want to leave..."

"No, Lucas, you're sick."

"Please Dagwood! Where's Tony? I don't want to stay here!"

Even as he spoke, his eyes drifted closed.

* * *

When he next woke, Doctor Perry was still there.

"Hi, Lucas. Are you with us again?"

He nodded as she handed him a cup of water.

"How are you feeling?"

"Tired of waking up here," he complained.

"Well, I enjoy the company! How do you feel apart from that?"

"Dopey."

"I know, I'm sorry. You have a fever, we're doing everything we can. I'm afraid the drug combinations have made you a little foggy. You'll feel better soon."

He brushed his hair from his forehead and felt the sweat and heat. He looked at his hand, confused.

"You still out of it, Luke?"

He started. He hadn't noticed Tony and Dagwood sitting by the bed. He noticed they were playing cards.

"Don't call me Luke."

Tony grinned. "Well that's better. You didn't even recognize me last time you saw me."

Lucas frowned. "I didn't?"

"Hey, you're with us now! How ya feelin'?"

He thought for a moment. His brain felt like treacle. "I don't know."

Doctor Perry frowned at him.

"I feel...fuzzy. Slow."

"You'll probably be a little spacey for a while."

"'Kay." He looked at his friends. "Did you see Darwin today? I had the weirdest dream..."

He drifted off again.

Tony looked worried. "Why's he so out of it?"

"His fever is still pretty high, so he's naturally going to be a little confused. On top of that, we had to get creative so the medications won't interact too badly with the drugs he's already taking. Once the fever breaks, he'll be clearer."

* * *

The fever, like the fever he had at Angie's, lingered for a few more days, but this time the cough was far worse.

He sat propped up in his bed - he even slept that way, trying to lie down just made him cough harder - and coughed until his ribs were sore. His back shot with pain every time and his muscles ached.

His friends visited him as often as they could.

Even though he had made peace with Captain Bridger (Nathan, he was now supposed to call him, but it felt very strange), he still felt a little uncomfortable around him, and since Bridger felt so guilty over this latest threat to Lucas, he kept his visits to a minimum. Doctor Westphalen (Kristin, now) had been around a lot at the beginning, but two doctors with one patient was never a good idea, and Westphalen soon decided to step back. She trusted Doctor Perry.

Sensing that Lucas and Bridger would never return to the relationship they once had, Kristin had the sense not to force the issue any further. Since they were sailing close to Nathan's island, the two of them made arrangements to leave. The goodbyes were sincere, but also a little relieved. As with the two doctors, two captains on the same boat, the former and the current, also led to a little undercurrent of divided loyalties, and everyone was happy to return to one captain and one doctor.

* * *

Bridger didn't say goodbye to Stephanie, he hadn't spoken to her since her arrest. She would be held in the brig for a week or two more until they could dock and transfer her to a proper UEO facility, where she would be held until she went to trial. She was told that he had left her without a word.

* * *

Tim and Kimura visited Lucas together a few times.

They had started talking again at his bedside, when Tim had found her sitting watching over him one night when no-one else was there. She told Tim about the way Lucas had saved both Reynolds and herself. It was obvious she admired his actions. From there, they began to talk about her own behavior towards him, and it was clear that though she had used him to get to the SeaQuest, she did have genuine feelings for him. Tim wasn't a vindictive person. He had been hurt, but if there was one lesson they had learned from Lucas, it was that life was too short to bear petty grudges.


	20. Chapter 20

He was starting to feel that he'd never get better, and that the rest of his life was going to be spent in the med-bay.

The worst of it was that he had just got his muscles to the point where he could stand for the first time in months, and now he would have to start from the beginning all over again. His muscles ached from inactivity.

Tony decided that Lucas needed cheering up. He had just come in to visit Lucas, when Hudson's voice came over the PAL.

"Doctor Perry to the Ward room."

She looked surprised, but left. Tony gave a sharp whistle, and Lucas looked up in surprise as Dagwood came in holding an armful of pillows.

"Okay Dagwood, quick!" Tony pulled back Lucas' sheets and grabbed the pillows from Dagwood. Dagwood, in turn, pulled out his chair and placed it beside the bed. Tony raised an eyebrow at Lucas.

"Well, come on, hurry up!"

Lucas had no idea what was happening, but anything that got him out of bed had to be a good thing. He started to move over to the chair, only needing a little help from Dagwood. Tony shoved the pillows under the covers to look like a body, and grinned at his friends.

"Ready? Let's go!"

Lucas laughed. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see!"

They wheeled him like a speeding car around the hallways until they reached their quarters.

Tony threw open the door. Lonnie and Tim were waiting inside setting snacks on a table. Lucas could smell popcorn, and saw chips and candy.

"Good, you're finally here!" Lonnie smiled at them.

"Told ya it would be easy!" He moved over to the computer facing them and held out a disk.

"C'mon Genius, put this in!"

Lucas took the disk from him and set it to play. "What is it, anyway?"

"It's a surprise! A classic! You'll love it."

Lucas grabbed a handful of Twizzlers and moved over to sit between Tim and Lonnie as the movie started to play.

Tim looked a Tony. "A classic? Are you sure? I've never heard of it."

Lucas also looked intrigued. "Airplane? Is it an action movie?"

"Just watch it, you'll love it!"

They did. Even Tim, whose taste in films tended to be a little more high brow, allowed himself to enjoy it. Lucas laughed so much that he frequently ended up coughing and they had to pause the film a few times, but no-one minded. By the end of the film, Lonnie was wiping tears of laughter from her eyes.

Tony turned to Lucas, pleased to see him looking happy again.

"Okay, Kid, time to take you back."

"Just a little longer? It's been ages since I've been out of there."

He really did sound like a kid when he was asking for something, something Tim often suspected he knew and used to his advantage. It worked now. Tony capitulated.

"Okay, you can stay for a little longer. I did pick up another film just in case." He pulled out another disk and handed it to Lucas.

Halfway through the second film, Lucas started to yawn. Tony got up and paused the film.

"We should get you back."

"No...I want to see how it ends. Just let me stay till the end?"

"Okay...but you lie down. You can watch it from your bed just as easy."

Lucas nodded and pulled himself onto his bed. Dagwood built up the pillows for him, and he leaned back to watch the film. Within minutes, he was asleep.

* * *

Half an hour later, Doctor Perry pushed open the door.

"Anthony Piccolo, did you abduct one of my patients?"

She looked over and saw Lucas sleeping with a smile on his face.

"Yeah...sorry Doc. He looked miserable."

"I know. How did you get Hudson to call me?"

Tony looked shamefaced. "I recorded his voice and played it back over the PAL."

"Clever." Lucas turned and stretched in his sleep.

"You know that Lucas needs to rest right now?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'm certainly not disturbing him while he's sleeping."

She saw Tony and Dagwood exchange a disbelieving smile.

"Bring him back tomorrow for a check up. If he can get through the night without keeping you two awake, then he can come back here as long as he continues to rest."

"Yes, Doc, thank you!"

"Yes, thank you Doctor Perry!" Dagwood echoed.

She looked down at the table of snacks and picked up a handful of sour gummies. Moving over to the edge of Dagwood's bed, she asked, 'so, what are we watching?"

* * *

Lucas was surprised the next morning to find himself in his own bed. He raised himself up a little, which led to a fit of coughing, but overall he felt better than he had in while.

Tony came out of the bathroom.

"Morning!"

"Hi!" He paused and looked around him. "I keep waking up in different places. How am I here?"

"We freed you yesterday, don't you remember?"

"Sure. But how am I still here? I figured Doctor Perry would come and get me as soon as she found out."

"You were sleeping, she didn't want to wake you."

"She let me stay?"

"You hafta go in for a check up this morning, and if it's all good, you can come back."

Lucas leaned back with a sigh of relief. "Are you finished, can I use the bathroom?"

"Wait a few minutes. Dagwood went to get breakfast, he should be back any minute. You don't want to eat it cold."

Sure enough, at that moment Dagwood walked in with a tray holding three plates and three mugs.

"Lucas, you're awake!" He set the tray down, removed the plates for himself and Tony, and placed the tray on Lucas' lap.

"It's scrambled eggs with bacon and toast."

"Thanks Dagwood." Darwin appeared at the aquatube. "Hello Darwin!"

They ate happily, and Tony left for his shift. Dagwood walked with Lucas to the med-bay, where he started some of his duties while Lucas had his check up.

* * *

"Well, your little escapade did you good, you look better this morning. But don't make a habit of it! From now on, you will stay in the med-bay until I release you."

"I know, I'm sorry," apologized, not looking sorry at all. "So, can I go back to work now?"

"Not today."

At his groan, she said, "you can go back to work tomorrow, light duties. And you can catch up on some exercising today, how does that sound?"

"Good! I feel like I haven't moved in a month."

"Not in the pool, though. If I hear one hint that you've been soaked to the skin visiting Darwin, you will be back in my med-bay before the day is out, understood?"


	21. Chapter 21

0Commander Ford was happy to help Lucas with his physical therapy, although, as Lucas had feared, he had lost a lot of ground. Everything he did seemed to take longer, and his muscles ached from the inactivity. Ford could see him struggling.

"I think we should stop there for today."

"Just a little more, let me just go on a little longer." Lucas continued to pull himself along the bars.

"Lucas..."

He pushed down on his left leg for support, but he was exhausted. His leg slipped beneath him and his arms gave way. Jonathon rushed forward and caught him just as he started to fall, and helped him to his chair. He was gasping for breath which resulted in a fit of coughing.

Ford handed him a bottle of water, and rubbed his back.

"I told you it was time to stop."

"I know."

"You have to work up to it again, you can't pick up where we left off."

"I know!"

Ford looked down at him sympathetically. He looked miserable.

"Hey, you did well. And tomorrow you'll do better, as long as you don't overdo it. Come on, I'll walk you back to your room."

The room was empty when they got there. Ford looked around, worried.

"Can I help with anything, would you like me to stay a while?"

"No, I think I'll lie down. Dagwood should be back soon. Thanks though!"

Once Ford was out of the room, Lucas wheeled himself into the bathroom and pulled out a jar of muscle rub that Perry had given him. Moving back to the bed, he started to massage it into his legs, trying not to wince at the soreness. He heard the door open and looked up, expecting to see Dagwood.

It was Stephanie.

She moved into the room, a gun in her hand. "Stay right where you are!"

He moved just enough to press the communicator button on his wrist.

She giggled.

"Of course, I don't really have to say that, do I? 'Stay right where you are!' Where are you going to go?" She looked down at his uncovered leg. "Ugh, that's gross! Look at you, you'll never be able to walk again, not with that. Why are you wasting everybody's time?"

His face flushed angrily. "What do you want, Stephanie?"

"I want to finish what I started."

"You won't get Bridger back, he's already gone. You're wanted by the UEO. As far as plans go, this one's far from perfect."

"I don't care. I'm already in trouble for attempted murder. I may as well make it murder, and at least I'll have my revenge. You ruined everything for me. I was happy - we were happy, before we met you."

"And I was happy before he found Michael. And I have no doubt that Michael was happy before he met you. Seems to be the way it goes with the Captain. I wouldn't waste anymore of your life on him. It was bound to be someone else, sooner or later."

She glowered at him. "It would not! He loved me like a daughter, he would never have left me if it wasn't for you! So now, I'm going to kill you. Look at you," she said spitefully, "you're disgusting, you should be dead."

* * *

On the bridge, Hudson heard the chirp of the communicator. When he heard who it was, Tim put it on speaker.

They heard Stephanie's voice. _"...do I? 'Stay right where you are!' Where are you going to go?"_

They looked up in horror. Tony ran to Hudson. "That's Stephanie! Where are they?"

" _...that's gross! Look at you, you'll never be able to walk again, not with that. Why are you wasting everybody's time?"_

Tim checked his screen. "It's coming from your quarters."

"Call security, have them meet us there."

" _I want to finish what I started."_

Hudson turned on his communicator and listened as they ran.

" _...you're disgusting, you should be dead."_

* * *

"How did you get out of the brig?"

"Even in this day and age, you'd be surprised what a girl can accomplish with a few tears. Once the guard was near me, I knocked him out and took his gun."

"They're going to catch you."

"I know. I don't care. I just want to kill you first."

Hudson and Piccolo ran into the room, their weapons drawn. Startled, she swung around to face them.

"Put the gun down, Miss West."

She looked furious. "No! I'm going to finish this. What does it matter to you anyway? Just look at him! It's disgusting, he's useless anyway!"

Tony flashed a look at Lucas to see how he was coping with hearing those words. He was surprised to see him gesturing to Tony to keep her occupied.

Hudson saw, and continued, "We weren't keeping him here for his body, Miss West, and there's nothing wrong with his brain."

Tony was surprised to see that Lucas actually grinned a little at that.

"There's no way out of this for you, Miss. West."

They were now trying to keep attention away from Lucas, but from the corner of their eyes they saw Lucas moving across the bed and pulling himself up to a standing position. They tensed as they saw him hitch as if to cough, and he held himself like a rock until the impulse passed. They both held their breath as he raised himself and stood for a moment, one hand leaning against the foot of the bed. He leaned forward and picked up an empty soda bottle that had been left on the table.

There was a noise, and Dagwood opened the door and came into the room.

It was enough of a diversion. As she started, she swung the gun away.

Lucas lurched forward. He hit her on the back on the head with the bottle. They fell together, and she dropped the gun. As she reached for it, Tony stomped on her hand and grabbed the weapon. Hudson pulled her hands behind her back and held her. Lucas pushed himself away from her and leaned up against the bed.

"You alright Ensign?"

He nodded, breathless, not entirely sure, adrenalin rushing through him.

Security arrived, one of them rubbing his head and glaring at her. They took her - not too gently - back to the brig.

Hudson moved forward and helped Lucas back onto the bed.

"Good work, Mr. Wolenczak."

He almost smiled.

* * *

 **Three months later.**

It was a beautiful day on Nathan Bridger's island. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the water lapped gently over the golden sand.

Everyone had taken their seats, guided there by Tony Piccolo and Dagwood, looking very different in a smart tuxedo. The Gelf saw a few curious looks sent his way.

Captain Bridger straightened his tie as Bill Noyce checked his pocket for the ring one more time. They looked into a crowd of happy faces. Or perhaps, they should say, a crowd of happy faces and Oliver Hudson. Nathan Bridger wasn't even sure Oliver Hudson could smile. He certainly wasn't doing it now. To be fair, he knew how he would have felt if his crew had been diverted by the top brass to attend a wedding, but what was the point of having strings to pull if you didn't pull them?

He heard a rattle on the temporary walkway, and saw Lucas' wheelchair heading for the end of the aisle. Dagwood moved to his side holding a crutch and helped him to stand. It still made Nathan feel slightly sick to see Lucas like this, but he was getting better about hiding his feelings. Lucas didn't need to be dealing with Nathan's demons.

Their relationship was improving again, thanks mainly to Kristin, who had insisted Nathan try to repair a least some of the damage that he had thoughtlessly caused. She reminded him to write regularly and call once in while. It was Kristin who had insisted that Lucas had to be the one to give her away, and she had been delighted when he had said that he would walk her down the aisle.

He had been determined to refuse at first, thinking it would be ridiculous to see him wheeling himself up the aisle beside her. Tony had convinced him that he had improved sufficiently to walk the short distance with the help of a crutch, and in a moment of (what Lucas now considered to be) reckless madness, he had agreed.

He had been practicing ever since, and though he could walk twice that distance on SeaQuest, they had been out there late last night and early this morning practicing on the wooden walkway.

Even so, he had still begged her this morning to ask someone else to do it instead, someone who wasn't likely to fall on flat on his face and ruin the whole ceremony.

She wouldn't even consider it. He was going to walk her down the aisle, or he would wheel himself, but it would be him and no-one else.

Lucas had reached the end of his treatments, and unless there was another significant step forward in medical research, no further improvement was expected. Kristin had explained that it wasn't as much as they'd hoped for, but it was better than nothing. Lucas could walk and stand for short periods of time with assistance. While he was still building up his strength, he felt more confident with a crutch, but he hoped to be able to use a cane occasionally when he felt more confident. The rest of the time, he would have to rely on the chair.

He tried to be positive about it. At least now he could go short distances without his chair, that was something. And Hudson seemed happy to keep him on the SeaQuest. He was inventing again, and had installed a few new innovations that the Captain was very happy to be the first to enjoy. Keeping Lucas on the boat had turned out to be a good idea.

Lucas had managed to gain some weight, although he was still prone to catch any virus that was going around and they were all starting to see that he would never be entirely healthy again. But he was getting stronger, and that was the point to focus on.

Michael ran out on pudgy legs, hand in hand with Kristin, her daughter Cynthia beside them, holding the flowers. Lucas thought that Kristin still looked as beautiful as she had when they first met, despite the years. She never seemed to change, and he loved that about her.

As they reached the end of the walkway, Michael shouted "Luka!", which seemed to be the closest he could get to 'Lucas' and held out his arms to his friend. Lucas had been riding around with him in the chair, and now Michael wanted a ride whenever he saw him.

Cynthia smiled, and bent down and whispered to him. "Not now, sweetheart, remember you have to throw the petals for Kristin?"

Michael remembered, and began by throwing a handful over Lucas, making everyone laugh. He walked ahead, sporadically throwing flowers, but more often just waving to everyone.

Cynthia took her position behind her mother and Lucas, and gave him a smile of encouragement. With a deep breath, he reached for Kristin as she held out her arm to him. Her smile was beaming as they linked arms and they walked down the aisle together.

 **The End.**

 _Well, that's it! Many thanks to anyone who stayed until the end, I hope it was enjoyable! It turned out to be longer than I planned, and became very different as it progressed. The first one went exactly to plan, the second one went in a completely different direction, and the third was like trying to nail custard to a wall...I had so many elements I wanted to incorporate, but I also wanted to finish it and not leave it hanging. I'd love to hear what you thought, constructive criticism is welcome as long as it's not mean (it was a first attempt!). Oh, and I know there are a few punctuation and grammar errors, I plan to go back and fix them when I have a few moments. Again, many thanks for reading!_


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